Panama, Costa Rica, Nicaragua, Honduras, El Salvador, Guatemala & Belize.

Panama.

Distance: 588.5 kms

Moving Average: 67 kph

Max Speed: 108 kph

Moving Time: 8hrs 31 mins

Total Distance: 17,482.3 kms

The Avianca flight from Bogota to Panama, was good, so I am told. I slept the whole way. A $US45 taxi ride and we were in Panama city. It was hot, bloody hot. I like that. The city is modern and vibrant. They are doing there best to attract retires from the U.S. Not that I am interested. I had to have a “nannie nap”.

We spoke to the first couple of people we had to deal with in Spanish. They replied in English. I am going to like this place.

My pasta dish that night was scrumptious. After 4 months eating Pollo (chicken) most days, I am over it.

Saturday morning and a taxi ride back to the airport, this time to the freight area to collect our bikes. Customs, Quarantine and a couple of other departments stamped our papework and we were outa there. The airline had strapped my bike down hard, fcuking hard, on her side stand. Which was always a bit dodgie. Now it is totally rat shit. Qantas stuffed it last time, Air Cargo Pack finished it this time, 28 days more riding leaning the “Rooney” against a pole or a wall every time I get off. What a bastard.

Caught up with Bill (from Bendigo, R1200GS, ex Cuzco), Peter and Mishka (from Germany, two 650 Yamaha Tenera's, ex Valparaiso, Scotty would love them) who were traveling together. They had a team of about 6 or 7, including Wendy

Visited the Panama Canal. Bloody incredible. Spent most of the afternoon there. I even took some photos. Many photos. Followed Bill and his gang back the their hotel. They were in a Taxi, whose driver, although a good bloke, drove like Taxi drivers do. Us, being young at heart motorcyclists, and not wanting to lose our mates, did our best to keep up. The first red light was red, very red. No problem. The second red light was only a little red, actually orange for Dale, Lindsay didn't see it and it was probably more than just red for me. Did the shit hit the fan! Coppers blew whistles, yelled and shouted, mostly at us. They took our licenses, yelled and screamed. Bill's Taxi driver tried to intervene. (to little avail) We acted dumb, (not hard for us) told them we didn't speak Spanish and eventually it all got to hard for them. We got our licenses back and rode off, in a very, very law abiding fashion.

We stayed at Bill's hotel, and had our last meal in a superb restaurant. Their hotel had a very large and secure parking area. The downside was on Saturday night the yobo rednecks on the 2^nd floor next door got pissed, even more pissed than us, and  threw their empty beer bottles at our bikes. Just for sport. They got Bills with two direct hits before he and I braved the enemy fire and pushed our bikes to a safer spot. Fixed them early on Sunday morning when I flashed up and revved up my “Rooney” right under their fcuking window.

There is a new bridge over the Canal, we rode over it twice on our way out of town. Had to stop and (illegally) take a couple of photos. I think the Panama Canal is an incredible engineering feat, and it turns 100 on 15^th August this year.

Panama. Out of the city, has good roads and little traffic. The scenery was less exciting as we went further north. There were many beautiful, clear “skinny dipping” rivers and streams running past.

I saw an 80kph sign and slowed. I policeman signaled for me to stop. No problem as I was only doing about 83. Fcuk me! Talk about spit the dummy. The only thing I could understand from his tirade was “dos gringos”. (two white tourists) When he paused for breath I said “no espanol”. He explained, in broken English, two gringos had blasted past and ignored his signal to stop. I said I thought I knew who they might be and if I saw them I would explain how silly and dangerous their behavior was. Eventually we parted good mates. Well it was more like a truce. I think he loved me because we both rode BMW's. It turned out Dale had missed the 80kph sign and Lindsay didn't care about it. They had both done the good red blooded Aussie thing and “done a runner”when they saw the Copper.

We stayed the night in Conception, another shitty border town. Panama was definitely worth seeing.

Costa Rica.

Distance: 563.6 kms

Moving Average: 64 kph

Max Speed: 109 kph

Moving Time: 9hrs 54mins

Total Distance: 18,046.4 kms

We stayed at some inconsequential shitty little hotel near the Costa Rican border, which took us 3 ½ hours to cross. Rode past mountains covered in magnificent rain forests. Stop to talk to Martin, a German BMW Airhead Rider, who owns a full on HPN BMW. Saw the best “skinny dipping” pool ever.

Costa Rica is great. They have their act together and are trying to attract attract retires from the U.S. as well. We rode to a beautiful Hotel on the beach Esterillos, swam in their pool, surfed and drank beer. Costa Rica is great.

Someone had the bright idea of a late start. Finally left at 11.00, after a walk along the beach and breakfast. Co-indecently, this is the hottest part of the day. Over 35 degrees.

On the road about 5 minutes and Dale had our first flat tire of the trip, a rear. Fixing a flat in 35 degree heat is not much fun. It turned out to be a fortunate thing as Dale found he had another 4 broken spokes. My Andy Strapz electric tyre pump worked a treat.

Dale suggested we ride to a bay close to the Nicaraguan border. Playa Papaturro turned out to be one of the top 5 Kite Surfing destinations on the world. Blows it's guts out nearly all day. Kite Surfers love it. We stayed in their hotel. Good bunch of girls and guys. Got to ride about 40kms of lovely gravel.

I dropped it first time for the trip. Bastard! Turning into the parking area of our hotel. Shit happens.

Another bright idea. Get up early and ride the 33 kms to the border before it gets hot. We were up and ready to go at 0630. One problem, we couldn't pay our bill until 0730. Still, breakfast was good and we were at the border relatively early.

I really liked Cosa Rica.

Nicaragua.

Distance: 389.1 kph

Moving Average: 64.0 kph

Max Speed: 121 kph

Moving Time:6hrs 4mins

Total Distance: 18,435.5 kms

The Costa Rica/Nicaraguan border was a doddle. We paid a guy $5/each to lead us through the process. There were seven different desks/offices to go to, so he was the best investment of the day. Through in 2 ½ hours.

We met Martin Kues, a 70 year old German guy on a F800 BMW, on yet another 3 month leave pass from his wife. Without knowing her, I love her! Martin worked and lived in Castle Hill for 4 years, so understands our sense of humor. We all rode to San Juan del Sur. Had a magnificent lunch at a lovely beach.

Our best mate, Allan Sinclair, and Martin Kues, told us about Flor de Cana Rum. We even tasted a couple of gallons of Allan's. We had to go to Chichigalpa to visit their distillery. It was a good, if unexciting 220 km ride.

On the way, I was leading, a cop pulled me over, threatened to give me a ticket. I could not understand what I had done wrong. It was hard trying to understand his English, while Lindsay and Dale were bagging me over our intercom. Bastards. It seems I overtook another motorcycle while roadworks were in progress. He threatened, but did not write a ticket. Once again,shit happens.

Our tour of the Flor de Cana Rum Distillery was excellent. I even bought a “T” shirt. Why does a rum that retails for less than  $10 in Chichigalpa cost $69 in Sydney? Nothing tastes like a 18 year old rum, served in the distilleries own bar. This rum is the grouse. I think I may be addicted.

It is amazing how quickly we have gotten used to armed guards every where. At service stations, banks, restaurants, in hotel foyers and today, sitting on top of the load, on the back of a truck, which was driving down the highway at about 70 kph. I don't know what was in the bags he was sitting on, obviously worth shooting someone over though. They even have armed guards on Coca Cola trucks in some central American countries.

A quick blast down another one of Nicaragua's excellent highways, 1 ¾ hours at another border crossing and we were in Honduras.

Honduras.

Distance: 137.6 kms

Moving Average: 60.1 kph

Max Speed: 101 kph

Moving Time: 2hrs 17mins

Total Distance: 18,573.1 kph

I think Honduras is over rated. Perhaps we should have used the east coast (Caribbean) route. Travelers say it is pleasant.We stayed in a shitty little town in a shitty little hotel. I was glad to get to the border with El Salvador.

El Salvador.

Distance: 438.1 kms

Moving Average: 52.2 kph

Max Speed: 109 kph

Moving Time: 7hrs 41 mins

Total Distance: 18975.2 kms

Another border crossing, this time a little under 3 hours. Another battle with a 'border helper” trying to rip us off. We won again. We rode 150 or so kms to what we had been told was one of El Salvador's best beaches.

Our little hotel was interesting. Had only been open 4 weeks. No shower and no running water. Took me back my to early backpacking days in Asia, bathing by tipping a bucket of cold water over ourselves, out in the open. In full view of everyone on the beach. We thought we would spend 2 nights there. A surf, cold beer and a great seafood meal. Followed by some of my Flor de Cana Ron. That was magnificent. I think Allan is right. Definitely the best rum in the world! Then we got the bill for our meal. Jesus K Rist!

Still, we went to bed happy. I even got some sleep after the dogs stopped barking, at about 2.30am! Then the bloody rooster next door, under our fcuking window, started to crow at 4am. Made sleep impossible. I got up, jumped the fence and threw half a house brick at the bastard. The fcuking thing was to quick for me.

A quick surf in the morning and we were out of there, headed for El Salvador's 2^nd best beach. Turned out to be a brilliant 80 km ride along the coast, good surface, nice corners, little traffic and no Cops. Barra de Santiago was a genuine fishing village. We rented a Cabina in a compound about 20 metres from the beach. Extremely private and with our own pool. The Manager brought us a bucket of beer on ice. The girl across the road cooked and delivered us lunch, dinner and breakfast. Lovely meals and at a good price. Try $9 for 3 evening meals. We did our washing, surfed, walked,and dozed in hammocks. Probably would have stayed longer if we had something to read. Lindsay and I even skinny dipped and drank cold beer in the pool under a full moon. No sex though!

On the road by 0730, another good ride to the Guatemalan border. Our quickest crossing in Central America, 2 hours.

Guatemala.

Distance: 838.5 kms

Moving Average: 66.7 kph

Max Speed: 127 kph

Moving Time: 12hrs 34mins

Total Distance: 19813.7 kms

Total Distance, including by Dong Feng S30: 24,363.7 kms

I think I will like Guatemala. Good roads, not much traffic, nice flowing corners and benevolent Coppers. The mornings ride finished off with a lovely uphill section full of great corners. A couple of locals on sports bikes overtook me. I tagged along behind them. Just had to show them what an Aussie on a “Rooney Special” could do.

Antigua oozes atmosphere. I love it. And the internet good enough to post a Blog.

I had a relaxing day off in Antigua. Walked the streets and got on the turps with Tiffini, a lovely girl the boys had met. She was staying at our Hotel and cooked us a magnificent meal. Tiff is a cook on Sea Shepherds Vessel “Bridget Bardo” A really interesting girl to talk to. And an excellent chef.

A rather late departure. Something to do with beer, red wine and rum. Another great 500km ride to Flores, just enough rain to cool us down and slow us down. I don't bother putting my wet weather gear on in these parts. It pisses down for a while, then I am dry in about 30 minutes. No problems.

A brilliant Hotel near Flores and a relatively early start to Tical, where there are some fantastic Mayan ruins in the jungle. We walked 6 kms in temperatures well over 30 degrees. I was wearing my riding gear and boots. Pretty damned hot. Our guide was excellent and knew the best restaurant in town for lunch. By the look of him, he ate there regularly.

Guatemala saved some of her best roads for last. After lunch we had over 200kms to ride to the Belize border. Once again, fantastic roads and little traffic. The last 50kms were a blast. Maybe these are our last really good riding roads of the trip.

Most border towns are pretty shitty. Melchor de Memcos wasn't an exception. Still, our Hotel was only $5/ night. We asked around for somewhere to have a cold beer. Being 3 good looking single guys we were directed to a pub, which had a rough sort of “beer garden”. Full of girls. Actually they were all hookers, bloody ugly hookers at that! We met a cattle farmer from Belize, he drives across the border most afternoons for a beer, or 6. Assured us he never sleeps with the girls. And I don't believe in the tooth fairy either. He said prostitution is illegal in Belize. If he came to Australia and saw what our girls look like, anything could happen. He would probably neck himself.

We asked our new best mate what Belize City was like. Without hesitating, he said “Don't even go there. It is far to dangerous”. This from a guy who had just spent an hour or so telling us how good his country is!

Currency is bit weird in Central America. They all have their own currency, except Panama and Ecuador, who use $US. Most countries we can get $US or local currency from the ATM. The good old $US is accepted everywhere. Even in Bars that double as brothels.

I think Guatemala has been a great country, worth coming back to.

Belize.

Distance: 277.5 kms

Moving Average: 58.7 kph

Max Speed: 111 kph

Moving Time: 4hrs 43mins.

Total Distance: 20,091.2 kms

Toatal Distance, including by Dong Feng S30: 24,641.2 kms

We hit the Guatemalan/Belize border at sparrow fart. These guys, border crossing wise, have their acts together. We were out of there in a little over an hour. Our quickest yet. Belize is still in the Commonwealth. Unfortunately one guy told Lindsay it has the worst corruption, anywhere in the world. Sad for a relatively new country, and one of only 300,000 people.

Most people in Belize speak beautiful English. You have no idea how easy that makes things for a dope like me. Speed limits are a little more realistic in Belize, at 55 mph (about 90 kph) on the highway, it means we will not get arrested. A lot of Central America has 40 kph on the highway, we do 90 or 100 and are constantly looking out for Cops.

Arrived at the Atlantic Ocean, again. A very special day for me. Even took a photo.

Still, the roads were good and once again stuff all traffic. We did the 277 kms or so in pretty quick time. If anything it was a little boring. The country was nice. Nice and green. The people were nice. The roads were nice. Everything was nice, nothing was exceptional. All was nice.

Some people say Mexico is classed as North America. I tend to agree. If that is the case. We are nearly finished. What a bastard!! Only about 5,000 kms to go.

Like the computer klutz I am, I deleted most of my Central America photos from the SD card. I know a guy in Mona Vale who can retrieve them. Watch this space.

Bring on Mexico.

Chris.

xx 

A "Chicken Bus"
Most are ex US school buses, driven down here, painted up, then flogged to death.

Dale, Tiffini, Sabrina and Lindsay @ Antigua.

"Rooney" leaning against another pole.

Tical Mayan ruins. Guatemala
.

Note the white spot on the lower right side.

This Guys job is to pick the weeds from between the blocks.
No safety harness.

Big spider.

Is Prince Harry alive, well and living in Belize?

A bit of a special day.

Ecuador & Colombia. Bloody beautiful!

Ecuador.

Distance: 1,388,3 kms

Moving Average: 49.9 kph

Max speed: 131 kph

Moving time: 27hrs 48mins

Total distance on my “Rooney”: 15,939.3 kms

The nice paved roads of Peru finished at the Ecuadoran border. The border village itself was a shit fight. Ramshackle buildings and a mud hole riddled street. Several bars and everyone in town seemed to be pissed. The Immigration guy was immaculately dressed and extremely efficient. The Customs bloke was also excellent, although he had not processed foreign motorcycles before. In time, he figured it out and several hours later we rode off. They were both sober. I don't know how they work in such chaos. We met Mark, a Pom from London, been on the road for 12 months. A bloody good bloke as well.

After about 4 minutes of riding along a nice jungle track it started to rain. Actually it pissed down! We rode for hours, had to stop at a couple of Army check points. In a lot of countries border areas are very sensitive. Ecuador is no exception. The track wound through rainforests, across rivers and up and down hills. The rain got heavier. The mud got deeper. My life’s total of mud riding had increased by about 1,147%.

Eventually arrive at a Palanda. Found a Hostal and parked our bikes in the owners wife's Haberdashery Shop next door. The father in law made us a magnificent coffee. In spite of a cold shower, I was dry and warm. I told the boys it wouldn't be raining in the morning.

Bullshit! It had rained all night and the mud was inches deep, the road became a river.. And there were road works. I had spoken to soon about not trying my Heidenau K60 in mud. She got a workout now, and behaved brilliantly. I was scared stiff I was going to drop it, in the end I didn't even put a foot down, not once! After many kilometres the shit fight of a track turned into a new concrete road. And it stopped raining. Life was good again.

We stopped for fuel. I talked to a bloke in a car. He was Allan and invited us to his place for an early lunch and a beer. We left 20 hours later. Allan is Canadian, he and his beautiful wife, Lorena, have retired to an area with a fantastic temperate climate south of Loja. They have a magnificent home, like a country resort, with views to die for. Allan has a shed nearly all blokes would envy, complete with a beautifully restored 1948 International Farmall Cub Tractor. Bloody beautiful. Lorena cooked us an incredible meal. We drank Allan's beer and his Flora de Can Ron (Nicaraguan rum) until I nearly fell over. Even their dogs made us welcome. Allan and Lorena are coming to stay at my house next year.

Shortly we joined the Panamerician Highway. This is the road sensible people use to travel from Peru to Ecuador. No one has ever called us sensible. The Panamerician, for the first couple of hours, was new, concrete, with almost no traffic and plenty of sweeping constant radius corners. Traffic slowly built up. A couple of months ago I would have said this was a magnificent ride. Now I only classed it as bloody good.

It started to rain, the traffic got heavier, fog came down. The visibility was almost non existent. There were many trucks, buses and cars. And a few cows. Almost the worst conditions I have ridden in. The globe blew in my tailight.We stopped at a San Pedro de Alausi. Didn't see much of the place as the fog was still around in the morning.

Todays ride was only short, about 170 kms to Banos. This is a really lovely joint. We swam in the hot mineral baths. Dale read the sign and noticed the high concentration of hexavalent chromium, the same water born chemical that made Erin Brockovich famous. We quickly had a shower and retired for a tremendous massage.

The ride today was stupendous, taking us from 1,800 metres in Banos down to the Amazon Basin at 497 metres and back up to 4,080 metres. Quito is about 2,800 metres. Once again a good surface and little traffic. We have forgotten what a traffic policeman looks like.

Finally made it to Quito, are staying in “Hovel No.3”, this place is a dirty shit fight of a dump. I am outa here in the morning.

Our new hotel in Quito, Hostal Petite Maison, is magnificent. Extremely comfortable and cosy. Exceptionally clean as well. You need good security in Quito, this place is like Fort Knox. We have booked a trip to the Galapagos, took Allan and Andrew's advice and are staying on a couple of different islands.

Yesterday Lindsay and I went out to our new best mate Carlos' workshop (tecnimoto_ec@hotmail.com ) to get some tires and to service our bikes. They both needed a little TLC. Carlos did some work for us and let us use his workshop and equipment to do most of it ourselves. We had a great day. It was just like 3 mates working on their bikes and talking shit. Carlos has an Airhead and an Oilhead BMW, as well as a few other nice bikes. He has ridden from Prudoe Bay to Ushua. He is the man.

A Taxi picked us up at 0600 for an 0900 flight to the Galapagos. Two flights, two ferries and two taxis later we were showering in a little Hotel on Isla Isabela. The last boat ride was 2 1/4 hours in the cabin of a boat about 30' long, with 3X200hp engines and absolutely zero ventilation for the 20 or so passengers. Not to many lifjackets either. It must have been 35-40 degrees inside. Sweat ran off us. Sam would have a heart attack if he Audited this vessel.

I don't think anyone comes to the Galapagos for the scenery. It is a little different, actually, bloody different. The whole joint is bloody different!

We disembarked at the main wharf on Isabela, there are Sea Lions sleeping on the wharf, on the seats, under the seats and on most of the moored boats. Big bastards as well. Giant Turtles and penguins swim in the bay. Iguanas walk along the wharf like they own it. It is a National Park, so I suppose they do. No one cares.

Early next morning a “bus” (no sides, no windows) picked us up for a half hour ride up the hill to the base of a Volcano. We walked 8 kilometres up to look at the crater, it is 10 kms across, the largest of any active volcano. Our guide was terrific. We learnt a lot. The thing last erupted in 2005. No action on the Volcano front today, so we walked 8 kms back and went for a snorkel. With the Sea Lions. Incredible.

Today we was diving day. An hour on a fast boat, with plenty of ventilation. Snorkled with Giant Green Turtles, swam into caves to see sleeping White Tipped Reef Sharks. Saw Moray Eels, Giant Octupus' and Sea Horses. They were giant as well. Swam through underwater Lava Tube Arches. Walked over Lava Tube Arches. Saw 5 copulating Manta Rays. (6 metres across) I thought you needed an even number for this sort of action. It was the grouse! Our Captain advised us not to swim with the Manta Rays. The thinks they are a little unpredictable when they are mating. Sounds a little like some people I know.

We found a bar on a wharf. Drank Caprihinas while we watched the sun set over the water. It has been a damned good day.

Another 2 ½ hour ferry trip back to Santa Maria Island. Did an 8 km round trip walk to the beach to look at Sea Iguanas. They are ugly, weird looking things who seem to like surfing. There were hundreds of the bastards. It was bloody hot and the 3^rd beach was made for swimming. A pity our Guide didn't speak any English.

After lunch we went to the Charles Darwin Centre. This was to be a highlight of our trip. They do brilliant work breeding endangered species of Tortoise. This guide didn't speak English either. I had to pull rank on our Tour Organizer. The next Guide spoke English, but knew fcuk all. It was still very interesting.

Surprisingly, we found another great Bar. This time in a Hotel with a deck overlooking the harbour. Happy hour, 2 for 1 Caprihinas. Sea Lions slept on the deck, in fact, on the deck chairs. Iguanas lazed in the sun. Very, very weird and unreal. Found a sea food market. That was good food.

Another fast boat ride to Isla Floreana, this time only 1 ½ hours each way, although the 30' boat had 2x 200hp and 1x300 hp engines. More Sea Lions sleeping everywhere. Heaps of Land Iguanas. Big colourful bastards . Extra bright and colourful as they were having their mating season as well. Our fantastic English speaking guide took us up to a place where the earliest settlers had lived. His excellent description brought the hills alive. The highlight of the morning was walking among many, many Giant Tortoises. Everything seems to be a giant over here.We were lucky enough to see a pair of Giant Tortoises copulating. Seems everything around here is getting laid, except me.

This afternoons activity was snorkelling, this time with Giant Sea Turtles and sharks, with a couple of Rays thrown in. Plenty of colourful tropical fish as well. These Turtles are big, bloody big, over 1 metre across. Not afraid of us either. Probably something to do with having a hard shell and weighing a couple of hundred kilos more than me. I swam beside, over and under them. Stroked them. We bumped into each other in the surge. They didn't mind. Neither did I.

Back on Santa Cruz we showered, gave our hopeless tour organizer the flick and headed to our favorite hotel deck for another 2 for 1 Caprihina drinking, Sea Lion and Sea Iguana watching session. Somehow we had gathered together a group of Canadians, German, American, Argentinian and Chileans to dine with. This turned into a very late and enjoyable evening. I had breakfast with my new favorite German and American (Mona and Patrick) before we flew back to Quito.

Lindsay's Diode Board was still causing trouble. He had ordered one from the UK, to be sent to my mate Riccardo in Quito. Two weeks is not long enough for shipping from the UK to Ecuador, so we went back out to Carlos' workshop. He pulled Lindsay's Diode Board apart and built a completely new one in a couple of hours. And it worked. I was super impressed. So was Lindsay. Carlos is still the Man!

On the way out of town we went to the Middle of the Earth. That's what the Ecuadorian's call 00 degrees 00' Latitude. I was leading, my GPS was being silly, taking us on a shortcut through the back blocks. Shitty, rubbish strewn dirt tracks. Going up a hill, trying to read the GPS, watch where I was going, and looking at a gigantic dog running out to chase or eat me.

Fcuk me! Some prick had strung a steel cable across the track. Luckily my “Rooney Cycle” has superior brakes. I locked the front wheel, but still hit the bloody cable. My new $600 front fairing, imported from Canada, broke off. There were wires, cables and all sorts of shit everywhere.

A bloke came out of his house, in excellent English, asked if we needed a hand. I said an electric drill would be nice. No problems, ride into my garage. We drilled 8 holes and used 4 cable ties, joined some wires, and except for my lovely Vince Strang heated hand grips, the oil light and my indicators, everything worked. I better get Paul to order me a new fairing and a set of Vince's heated grips. 

At "Middle of the Earth" you can do experiments to watch water go down a drain clockwise, anti clockwise or even straight down. 

Funny thing, my Spanish is shit. So is Lindsay's. Dale's is reasonable. Sometimes when we speak to people we start talking in Spanish. Sometimes they even understand us. Weird, eh?

Otavalo is a quaint little town. Travelers come here to relax and spend a week or so. I sit on the balcony of our room, sipping a Club beer, looking at the sun set over the Andes, and trying to write this Blog. On Saturday they have the best markets in South America. Fortunately that was today. Most people know, I don't usually do markets. This one was pretty damned good though.

Paul and Bails will shudder when I say I spent the afternoon fixing the wiring on my “Rooney”. A new flasher can, some new connectors and a few more cable ties. My beautiful new fairing is now held together with 8 cable ties. (WTF did we do before they were invented) Hopefully my Vince Strang heated grips will work again, as everything else does. Lindsay was doing similar work to his bike, although his problems were Salar de Uyuni (salt flat) induced.

Tomorrow we hit Colombia.

I fueled up in Quito. The boys decided to fuel just before the border. Fuel is a lot cheaper in Ecuador than Colombia. The Ecuadorian s are not silly. They don't want to subsidize people riding in Colombia, so would only give them $3 worth of juice!

Colombia.

Distance: 952.7 kms

Moving Average: 60.2 kph

Moving Time: 15hrs 45mins

Max Speed: 147 kph

Total Distance for South America on my “Rooney”: 16,892 kms

South American distance including our Dong Feng S30: 21,442 kms

An extremely pleasurable ride from Otavalo to the Ecuador/Colombia border at Ipiales. Little traffic and a lovely road. All my electrical work was OK, except for my heated hand grips. They normally have 2 temperatures, pleasantly warm and self immolate. Up this high in the Andes, self immolate is the one I mostly use. Fortunately this is the only one that works now, although on the bloody low setting. Guess I should stick to driving Ferries.

Leaving Ecuador was a cinch. Colombian Immigration and Customs was not a problem either. Lovely people. We said we would buy Insurance at the first town. Didn't bother though.

We changed USD for Colombian Peso's. The rate at the border is 1,900 Peso to $US1.00. These numbers are a little hard to get my head around. The slimy prick we were dealing with tried to take advantage of my lack of mathematical skills, did the figures for me on his calculator several times. We swapped our cash. I smelt a rat, a fcuking big rat. Did the sums again, this time on my i phone. The prick had ripped me off for 150,000 Pesos. Fixed that little fcuker up. I told Dale,turns out he had touched him for 41,000 Pesos. I had to get the Coppers to sort Dale's problem out. In the end, we both got our money.

Sometimes a funny thing happens. We want to talk to someone and we address them in our childish Spanish. Amazingly, they mostly understand!

Colombia, surprise, surprise, has a network of great roads winding through the Andies. We rode for a few hours, down to 615 metres, stayed at a lovely tropical village whose name I didn't think to ask. Traffic was chaos. Every Colombian must like to take his family out in the car, or on their motorbike, for a Sunday drive/ride. We haven't seen traffic like this, out side of a major city, before.

There is a large Army presence in this area. Apparently the Farc Rebels (I have always liked that name) still operate in the south of Columbia. Every major bridge is guarded, mostly from a machine gun post, occasionally by some sort of armoured vehicle with a machine gun on top. I haven't seen these before. Neil will know what they are.. Soldiers,on foot and carrying machine guns, patrol the streets. Cars, bikes and trucks are frequently pulled over for inspection. We were always waved through with a thumbs up. I think I will like the Colombian people.

Lindsay spoke to a guy who warned him to be careful as Gringos (that's us) sometimes get shot in the south. We talked over breakfast and decided to make sure we rode together for the day.

We left at 0730, early for us. Lindsay and Dale took off like cats shot in the arse. That's the last I saw of them. So much for our security plan! I waited at the first intersection, as per our back up plan. Jimmy Walsh, an Irish guy on a 1200GSA we had been riding with came along. I was concerned I had passed the boys while they were getting fuel. Jimmy thought they must be ahead. We waited a bit and Jim and I decided to ride to Calli together. A new security plan. The Colombian Army killed 10 Farc rebels in a shoot out in this area last month .

What a magnificent ride. Little traffic and good roads. Seldom have I seen such beautiful country. Politics aside, I could probably live in this area. Jim and I waited at the outskirts of Calli. No sign of the boys. Fcuk knows where they are. Maybe they are the Farc's sexual playthings by now.

Jim headed for Medelin. I waited a while longer and headed for Bogota. It was about 400 kms, so I went for it. Beautiful dual carriageway, sweeping turns, my “Rooney” sat on 115 and loved it. I would be in Bogota well before dark. You don't ride after sunset here, under any circumstances.

One thing I hadn't planned for. A 3,100 metre pass. Single lane, with many, many trucks. But a great road, up nearly 2,500 metres and back down again. Rode behind two locals on smaller Japanese bikes. They knew the corners, the lines and the passing spots. Made it easy and more fun. Until one of them came off. Shit happens. He had been sliding around a lot. My new Pireli MT60 rear tire sticks to the road like shit to a blanket.

Unlike most of South America, bikes here nearly all Japanese. Elsewhere they are Chinese. I think the Japanese motorcycle industry could be in trouble. Maybe someone in Japan should read Bert Hopwood's book, "Whatever happened to the British Motorcycle Industry".

In Bolivia large trucks were almost 100% Volvo, a lot second hand from Europe. The conditions were very harsh. The further north we travel, the roads are better and we see more American trucks. In Ecuador most bogie tippers were Mack. In Colombia large trucks are about 95% Kenworth, almost no European trucks. A lot of rigid trucks, both bogie and single axle, are old American trucks from the 60's and 70's. Mostly in immaculate condition. Beautiful. I keep looking to see if Mike Malone or Jerry Austin from Cannonball are driving one! It is like a truck museum.

Heading north towards Bogota, I don't see so many soldiers. The Farc must have been farced off from this area.

On the flat again and no bloody hotels where I could park the bike and get wifi to try and contact Dale and Lindsay. It is getting dark. The roads are good. Pointed my “Rooney Cycle” north and nailed it. Sat on 140,what a buzz. Hopefully Farc can't go this fast. Found a great Hotel, well after dark. No security parking. No problem, they say, and pointed to my new best mate. He wears a pump action shotgun and is on duty all night. I slipped him 10,000 pesos and went to the bar. Only 154 km from Bogota now. Had been a 630 km day. And I loved it. The boys have surfaced, alive and still in Calli. They had been watching my progress on my Spot Tracker.

A new day, another sunny, tropical day. And my “Rooney Special” sits proudly, alone in the carpark. The 10,000 pesos and the shotgun must have done the trick!

An early start and another great pass to ride before Bogota. Then came the traffic. Nearly as bad as La Paz. And that was fcuking horrific. I wanted to go to visit the Air Freight Companies at the Airport. I was having a shower by 1200, after visiting 2 firms. Had to ride along the footpath 4 times, ride up and over 2 medium strips and do a couple of one way roads the wrong way. No problems though. I think the Columbians love me as much as I love them.

The boys turned up at 5pm, in time for a beer.

Next morning we dropped our paperwork off with Veronica, our Shipping Agent. (a good choice as it turned out) Time to play tourist, headed into the city to walk around “Old Bogota” Bloody lovely. Even took some photos.

Thursday morning, we were at Veronica's office early. Her right hand man, Edwardo, took us to the airport and held our hands as we went through the airfreight process. All went well, of of there by 3.45.

We had a date, dinner with our friend Judy, (ex Cuzco, ex Lima) she is a Bogota girl and a lovely person, took us to the best bar in town. As luck would have it, a micro brewery with exceptionally beautiful beer. We intended to have a couple of beers before going to a restaurant. What a good idea. A pity it didn't happen. Judy told us the Volcano in Banos has just erupted. What a pity, we were there a couple of weeks ago and all want to see flowing, red lava.

Two of Judy's friends turned up. We got to bed at 2am. Had to get up a 6 to get an 0830 flight. What a bastard. Then, we had a problem with our tickets. Our 0830 flight turned into a 1430 flight. Shit happens.

That my friends, is the end of the South American section of our  trip. Bring on Central America.

Chris.

xx 

 Fortunately, the rest of Ecuador was much better than their border town.

 My "Rooney Special" inside the haberdashery shop for the night.

 

 Allan and Lorena's "resort".

Allan's tractor.

Flor de Cana Ron. A beautiful Rum. Allan thinks it is the best in the world.

Jabaru

 Dale and Lindsay stare into the World's biggest Volcano crater.

 

 

 She is sleeping on the deck at our favourite bar.

 Iguana.

He deserved a pat on the back, after the performance we had just observed.

Carlos' shop.

 

"King Carlos" gives advice, Dale works. 

Lindsay fitting the new diode board Carlos made for him.

Middle of the Earth.

 Otavalo Markets.

 WARNING. Bargaining with Lindsay for an hour can be tiring.

 This Guard was a good bloke. But then, I wasn't trying to rob his service station.

Good-bye Ecuador

 

"Rooney" and her body guard.

 

A wash and shampoo ready for her flight to Colombia.

A three section" Bendy Bus"

Bogata traffic light Buskers.

We do sight see, sometimes.

My gear is strapped to"Rooney" and she is ready to fly

Shipping bikes or border crossings are 90% waiting, 8% action and 2% arguing.