Brazil was hot. The weather & the women!

Uruguay.

Distance: 735km

Average speed: 72,3kph

Top Speed: 127kph

Brazil.

Distance: 2,294.8km

Average speed: 67.4kph

Top Speed: 133kph

Moving time: 32.5 hrs

Total distance: 8,094.8kms

My new Garmin GPS, with maps loaded by Dale, worked a treat. The 3hr ferry trip to Colonia in Uruguay was uneventful, although I thought I saw my old ship, “WH Resolution”, probably just an apparition.

Colonia did not surprise me, nor did it shock me, I was stunned! It was a cross between a small Mediterranean fishing town and provincial French village. Absolutely beautiful.

Riding along Ruta 1 to Montevideo, the Capital, was an eye opener. This joint is great. Extremely westernised. Much more so than Chile or Argentina.  Uruguay has just legalised Marijuana.  A very sensible approach in my opinion. We didn't feel the need to indulge. They have their act together.

From Montevideo we rode north to Brazil, a beautiful ride through magnificent farming country. More great roads and little traffic. Stayed in an expensive, shitty little hovel of a Hotel in a lovely little town.

Somewhere, we crossed into Brazil. I was looking for the border, after about 5kms, realised we were in Brazil. They have an open Border. Why did we bother getting an expensive visa when no one even knew we had crossed into their country.

We rode along a route seldom used by travellers. We like it that way. Lush rice crops turned into Sorghum crops being harvested. This ground is so good, if you stood still for a couple of days you would grow 500mm! I thought Boorowa was good. Tony Cooper, Whitey and Ron, eat your hearts out!

Further north the traffic increased. We were on the main transport route for trucks to Paraguay. Overtaking was not a problem, although a little exciting at times. Brazilians seem to be good drivers. Although the road surface was pretty chopped up, my “BMW Rooney Special's” superior suspension coped well. Her new Ohlins rear shock is marvellous, much better than the YSS shocky I used last time. These couple of days have been a fantastically pleasurable and relaxing ride. Good roads, good hotels, good food and a couple of beers at the end of the day. Pretty damned good.

In Argentina every bathroom had a Bidet. They didn't bother with them in Uruguay In Brazil we haven't found one. No great loss.

The service stations in Brazil all have good old fashioned driveway service. Like we had in Australia when I was a kid. Lindsay has a theory that all former Brazilian Miss World candidates get jobs as service station pump jockeys. A place that would be run by one Indian or Pakistani at home is run by 6 -8 Brazilians here. We keep getting told our work practises are antiquated!

Foz Do Iguazu means end of the big river in Portugese. Better known as Iguazu Falls. Last time I was here the river was in flood. Made the falls exceptionally spectacular, although we could not do any of the walks. I crossed back into Argentina for the day to walk the walks. Fantastic! Met up with 3 crazy Spanish guys. They were great fun.

We toured the Brazilian side of the falls. Had a helicopter ride, Dale and I took a wild ride up and under the falls in a gigantic rubber ducky, complete with 2 X 200hp engines. Kilometres of walks and several hundred photos. This place is the grouse. Stayed for 3 nights in an Eco Lodge in the forest.

Igauzu Falls is something everyone should see.

The local car and truck mechanic let Lindsay and I service my bike in his workshop. Went into town looking for filter oil. Motec Honda (www.motec.com.br) helped me out. Had some filter oil delivered in about 10 minutes and let me do the job in their immaculate workshop. Could have eaten my dinner off the floor. Bruno de Marco is the Man!

All brilliant. Gotta go, head north in the morning.

Another fantastic two day ride along the Paraguyan border to Bonito, including 150kms of superb gravel tracks. We tried to stay off the main highways as much as possible.

Mark asked me to try and find the elusive Brazilian. They are hard to find, those we did come across were to expensive for us!

Brazil is the home of the Speed Bump. We call them “Dong Feng Breakers”. Vehicle speed is mostly controlled by “Dong Feng Breakers”. A small village has about 3, a large town about 13. Some are painted white, some are painted yellow, some are painted white & yellow. Some have never been painted at all, they are usually black and blend in well. Most have signs. Some used to have signs, but don't anymore. Some have never had signs. Sometimes, one will pop up out on the highway, it may or may not have a sign. Occasionally the sign will say there is one, there may be three. Occasionally the sign will say there is three, there may only be one. They all have a near vertical approach and drop off. Hitting one at 90kph is interesting.

More progressive areas in Brazil have speed cameras. They are as common as “Dong Feng Breakers”. I imagine we have accumulated a considerable amount in speeding fines. Remember, with their Open Border Policy, they do not even know we are in their country. Good luck collecting any speeding fines from us!

Bonito, a holiday town for the Brazilians, is famous for being the jumping off point for the Pantenals.

Also for the crystal clear river waters absolutely crowded with fish. For a few dollars you can swim among thousands of Dorado, some up to 1 metre long. Yes, bloody thousands of the things. This is one of the most amazing things I have seen. Brazilian women don't wear to many clothes when they swim.

We had a rapid 3 hour ride north to the Pantinals. Damned hot, over 35 degrees. And humid. Probably collected a few more speeding fines along the way. Met our tour guide, Ronaldo, in a dust bowl on the side of the highway. It was another fantastic ride, 66kms along gravel, sandy, rocky tracks to the Paraguan River. As hot as hell until it rained for the last 10kms. The vehicular ferry across the river to Porto da Mango was a shit heap. Sam and Tim would love to Audit her.

The Pantinal is a rain forest, river and wetland system larger than France. About 70% is farmed, a small percentage protected by the Government. In the long distant past it was all rainforest. Our jungle lodge didn't look nearly as good as in the glossy brochure. Cold beer and decent food made up for it. Good people as well.

First night Ronaldo took us up the river in a tinny. No nav lights, no life jackets, no anchor. (and we are in a fast flowing river full of fcuking crocodiles) Where are Rex Cresswell and his boys when you need them. Caiman, in Brazil, is not a Porsche model, they are a freshwater crocodile, growing up to 3 metres, although in our area 2.7m is about as big as they get. Our spotlights picked out hundreds and hundreds of gleaming Caiman eyes. I could not believe the number and size of the fcukers. Some swam into the side of our boat. After a while we relaxed and enjoyed the spectacle.

Next morning we were told to be ready for breakfast at 0630. Ronaldo and his team thought we were extra keen as we were 1 hour early. The truth is, we are extra stupid. We finally realised the time zone had changed an hour. We had been 1 hour early for everything, for several days.

Up the river just after daylight, in the same ill equipped v/l. This time we looked for birds. We saw birds, many, many birds. All shapes, sizes and colours. Amazon Kingfishers, Jabiru. And Marsh Deer. And Capybara (freshwater pigs) plus a few hundred more Caiman. After a while it got hot, very hot. The only water to swim in was full of Crocs. Ronaldo promised us they don't eat people, so we swam. It is a little disconcerting to be swimming and see several sets of croc eyes poking above the surface less than 10 metres away. We had already waded through a muddy croc infested lake.

Just finished a big lunch, now is all quite in the camp as it is siesta time. This afternoon is Forest Walk, Monkey Watch Trek.

Plenty of Monkeys, Macaws of several different flavours, Forest Deer, and the highlight, an Armadillo. On the way back we stopped at a few waterholes. Saw so many Caiman and Capybara we were over them. It was bloody hot in the forest, I nearly melted. Capybara have 9-10 babies. This is a good idea, as the Caiman like to eat baby Capybaras.

Ronaldo had us up at 6am again, breakfast and up the river Piranha fishing. Our new mate Rick won the gold medal, he caught 5, Dale won silver, with 4. Lindsay and I were failures, only getting 2 each. I seem to remember swimming in this same muddy river yesterday.

We are showered, bikes packed and waiting to head for Bolivia this afternoon, although not until after lunch. The cook is about to serve up our freshly caught Piranha.

Ronaldo has been an excellent guide.

A fantastic finish to Brazil, about 55kms of brilliant dirt, sand and gravel tracks through the forest took us to Corumba, the Brazil/Bolivia border town. Probably rode to fast. We loved it, the bikes loved it.

Our new best Mate, Indi, (Ronaldo's friend) guided us through the Customs and Immigration in about 2 hours. It was hot. And humid. Over 40 degrees. Seldom have I been so hot. I could feel sweat running down the inside of my riding gear and pooling in my boots. Adam and I rode for days in Kazakstan and Russia at over 45 degrees. It was hot. With the humidity, this is a killer. We drank litres of water.

Finally got a Brazilian stamp in my passport, no speeding fines though!

We loved Brazil. Bring on Bolivia.

Chris.

xx

        Colonia, Uruguay
Once a lighthouse, now a cafe.  

      (Dales photo)  

  Getting ready for a "Dong Feng" breaker.

(Dale's photo)     

  

Igauzu Falls from the Argentinean side.

Argentina.

My crazy Spanish mates.

Argentina

 

Argentinean monkey

 Brazil, Argentina in the background.

 Brazil

Do I look like I am having fun?

(Dale's photo)

A Coatie, on the Brazilian side.

Brazil

 Brazil

A few of Bonito's Dorado.

(Dale's photo)

Brazil, looking into Paraguay.

(Dale's photo)

Aussie and Dutch swimmers.

Observant Caiman

Jabiru

Brazilian Monkeys

Forest Deer

Armadillo

Brave Capybara, or lazy Caiman

The great white hunter.

Piranha.

We are Bikers again.

Chile.

Distance ridden: 265 kms

Max speed: 148km/hr

Argentina:

Distance ridden: 4,800kms (approx)

Max speed: 160kms/hr (racing Lindsay)

Distance for my around the world trip: 86,828.6km

The boys bikes finally arrived. Enzo took us to the container Depot. Bikes assembled, both started first go. A good result seeing they had been in the crates for 10 weeks. Dale and Lindsay rode out in under 3 hours.

Finally, we all rode out of Valparaiso, 3 weeks late. The sun came out and the Garbo’s were back on the job. I can't say I had become fond of the place, probably more an acceptance. I still don't care if I ever go back.

Away by 1030, hoping to miss the traffic, no luck there. My GPS led us onto the highway, a not to exciting ride, which was good as it allowed us the acclimatise to riding on the right.

Our first taste of riding across the Andes. Fcuk me! Fantastic. Little traffic, great road surface and brilliant scenery. The first set of switchbacks had at least 100 hairpins. Lindsay said 45, Dale counted 37. Whatever, it was a tremendous ride. Several tunnels and many one sided land slide tunnels.

The pass into Argentina was 3,290 metres, the highest any on us had ridden. We were well above the snow line. My “Rooney” loved it. We were through the border in about an hour. Everyone was very helpful.Even the border guy, when I discovered a vital piece of paper had blown away. I think he just loved me!

Riding down the western side of the Andes was as good as going up. Hard to concentrate on riding fast and looking at the view at the same time. Argentina's road surfaces are the best.

Eventually found beds in a Youth Hostel in Mendoza. What a lovely, cosmopolitan city. Very European. Argentinian women are as beautiful as I remembered them from 15 years ago. Very nearly as beautiful as Sydney chicks.

The country has a bit of an economic problem at the moment. This is bad for the Argentinians, but great for us. Chile was as expensive as Australia or Europe to travel in. This joint is excellent value. Last time, 1 USD equalled 1 Argentinian Peso. Now it is 5.8 to the USD. Up to 9.6 if you have $US100 notes. Fortunately we did.

The ride south to San Carlos de Bariloche has been one of the best I have done. Fantastic roads, almost no traffic and scenery to die for. No Police either. Three days riding through the Andean foothills, snow capped peaks and the mountain range on our right. Rolling hills and plains to our left. Every morning around 10 or 11, gale force winds start from the west. This really is strong enough to blow a dog off it's chain. I am talking 30 or 40 knots, or more. It really becomes interesting when we have the bike leant over, powering through a corner and the wind hits. Either standing the bike up so it doesn't want to turn, or, laying her down so I nearly scrape the pegs. And my “Rooney” doesn't scrape her pegs, Ever.

We had about 60-70kms of gravel. It was a shitty surface with large river stones and big lumps of gravel. Some sand thrown in to make it more interesting. Not as bad as the Chita Road in Siberia, but up there. It takes me a while to get used to the bike moving around on a surface like this. In the end I really enjoyed it. Dale loved it immediately and took off like a cat shot in the arse.

At Malargue and Chos Malal we stayed in Hostels. All great value. Strolling down-town for dinner at about 7.30, had trouble finding restaurants open. Thought they had already shut. It took us a few days to realise the Argentinians eat late, about 9.30. The restaurants were all closed because we were to early. Pretty silly, eh?

We navigate and route plan by committee. Last night, over a couple of bottles of magnificent Mendozan Malbec (at $5.50/bottle) we worked out our route east and north from Bariloche.

I could stay in Bariloche for a week. It is surrounded by majestic snow capped mountains and is on the shore of Lake Nahuel Huapi which is over 400 metres deep and has the clearest fresh water I have ever seen.

Bariloche has a very strong German influence. Apparently many Germans moved here after WWII, the area supposedly sheltered Hitler and Eva Braun, Martin Bormann, Joseph Mengele and Adolf Eichman. You can even buy books on Adolf Hitler. Read into that what you like!

Today was the best road ride I have had for many, many years. About 460kms in a loop taking us around the lake to the Chilean border in the west, up north and back down to Bariloche. Amazing scenery, fantastic roads and almost no traffic.

Not one Highway Police Officer! My “Rooney Cycle” loved it. The Mitas E07 rear and Continental TKC80 front tyre have no right to hang on as well as they do. We rode way faster than we should have done in a developing country. Would do it all again! To me, this was about the best day ride in the world.

Then, great beer and and fantastic German food. Again.

Away from Bariloche relatively early, about 8.40, another lovely two day ride to Peninsular Valdez. The westerly winds were behind us most of the way. Good for fuel consumption and our comfort. Left the Andes behind and rode across a wide coastal plan, very much like the Nulabour Plain.

Lindsay pointed out I would have completed riding around the world when we reached the Atlantic Ocean, which we did at Peuerto Madryn. I had thought about this months ago, but totally forgotten it. No tears or screams like Charlie Boorman and Ewan McGregor, although we did have an extra bottle of Argentina's finest red that night.

My Garmin Zumo 550 decided to celebrate, by retiring from work. Back to navigating from paper, with help from Dale's “Tablet”. It snuffed it one kilometre from the end of my around the world trip. Weird or what?

We stayed on Peninsular Valdez for a couple of nights, a very large peninsular, a Unesco World Heritage site. We rode about 200kms around on magnificent gravel roads, rode much faster than we should of. Saw Sea Lions, Elephant Seals (about 200 at one beach), Whales, Lamas, and things that look like an Emu, only a little smaller. Nice, but a little underwhelming. Went to a private Magellan Penguin Sanctuary. I don't think there is anything like it in the world. We walked among many thousands of them. Saw mothers sitting on eggs and with babies only a couple of days old. Amazing. Absolutely amazing.

Had a couple of cold beers while watching the sun set over the ocean. This is about as good as it gets.

It was a boring, hard, hot, dull 3 day ride to Buenos Aires. Dangerous, as it turned out. First day was about 36 degrees, a big change from what we had become accustomed to. The wind blew its guts out from the west for nearly the whole ride. The air pressure wave from trucks coming the other way was like hitting a brick wall. Hundreds of times a day. We were very much at risk of being blown off the road all the time. Fortunately my “Rooney Cycle” has a new screen, which gives her superior aerodynamics.

We spent a night at Azul. Met Stella, an extremely attractive Argentinean lady, while we were looking for a Hotel. Met her kids, William & Christian, and her parents. All lovely. Next morning Dale went to the Azul University, as Christian's guest, as they were both studied the same scientific discipline. 

Dale had a near death experience. His closest ever. I was following him around a very large 2 laned roundabout, when a fcuking car came flying around the roundabout the wrong way, in Dale's lane. Dale swung left and missed him by about 400mm. He was completely in Dale's lane, so I was safe, only a little frightened.

Next day was my turn for my closest near death experience on a bike. I was leading. There was a line of trucks coming the other way. Some dropkick in a car pulled out to overtake. We were head on, both at about 100kms. He passed me in the breakdown lane, still flat strap. The prick nearly cleaned up the 3 of us. New undies all round. I was shit scared. Although some Argentinian car drivers leave a lot to be desired, their Truckies are the best.

This highway needed more bloody Cops! I thought I would never say that.

Eventually we made it to Buenos Aires. We got horribly lost. Several times. Cursed the bloody GPS. Many times. We pulled to the side of a toll way for a conference. A bike pulls up and asks where we are going. We pointed to an area to our right. Our Good Samaritan clenches his fist in a pistol shape, points it at me and pretends to pull the trigger. Tells us not to go to that area or we would probably get shot. He paid our tolls and led us to a safe area.

Somehow we lost Lindsay. I was the only one who new the name of our hotel. Dale and I eventually found the hotel and emailed Lindsay the address. He was already in a McDonalds waiting for our email. Smart, eh? Thought we had managed to give him the flick. No such luck.

Our new best mate Ed (from horizonsunlimited.com) had found us a great hotel and let us park our bikes in one of his garages. We went for a meal and beers with him and his friends Caroline and Jo. At the usual Argentinian time of 1030pm. Great night. Solved a few of the worlds problems.

I had forgotten how much I like Buenos Aires. The girls are almost as good looking as Sydney's. Unfortunately, people here have to be paranoid about security. With good reason. I parked my “Rooney” on the footpath outside our Hotel. I woman came to me, looking worried. I asked if my bike was in her way and said I would only be couple of minutes. Turns out she was worried about me leaving my “Rooney' unlocked, even for such a short time.. We travel on the underground train. Ed gives us our security instructions. Single file, him at the front, me at the rear. Hands in pockets and try and keep away from people. All part of the adventure. I love the place, but couldn't live like this.

Ed took us to the Garmin agent. Quite an adventure. I purchased a new Garmin Zumo 500 for about $1,100. Many hundreds more than at home. And for the old model. Navigation will be easy again.

Dale downloaded maps from the net. Damned things didn't work. Lucky he knows his way around a “google machine”. Many hours later he has loaded maps for the whole of South America. I emailed Brian at GPS OZ in Mona Vale (www.gpsoz.com.au), as usual he came through with good advice.

Ed took us into town to buy tickets for the ferry to Uruguay. We walked into the closest bar for a drink and a meal. Surprised to see so many attractive, provocatively dressed single girls. Turns out we had stumbled into a Hookers pick up bar! The only thing we bought was one drink each. Honest, not even any food.

Argentina has been great. Buenos Aires has been great. Even the Taxi Drivers are good blokes. Ed is the best.

Tomorrow a boat to Uruguay.

Chris.
 xx

The Boys get their bikes. Eventually.

 Was it 100, 45 or 37. Who cares!

 3,290 metres.

 Route planning by committee

 

My "Rooney Cycle"

That would be the end of our Round the World Trip.

Bike? What Bikes? It turned into a road trip in a Dongfeng S30

Distance travelled: 4,550 kms
Foreign tourists spotted: 9
Max Dongfeng S30 speed: 160 kph

The Thursday before we left was a bastard. I slipped getting off a Harbour Cat and belted my knee and my shoulder. Luckily Mick (aka MMM) put ice packs on it. Or should I say, iced Sweet Pea & Corn packs on it.

Mates came and went, stayed and slept, all weekend. I love that. A meal at the RSL, over many schooners of Coopers we told more than a few lies. My house was full, people sleeping everywhere.

Ali & Uiti drove us to the Airport. 0500 is to early after a big night, let alone after two big nights!

We flew from Sydney to Santiago with Lan Chilli. A terribly mediocre and over rated Airline. Trying to get a cup of water was like trying to extract teeth. Even for Airline food, it was bland. They ran out of beer.

Taxi for the 100km trip to Valparaiso. Good value, I slept most of the way. 1^st night we slept for 15 bloody hours.

Enzo & Martina are our Valpariaso agents. They let us stay in their wonderful old eclectic, chaotic, ramshackle 3 story home. Complete with 3.75 metre ceilings. Adventure Bikers come and go. Mike from the U.S. on his KLR, who has just spent 6 months in the Antarctic. Peter & Mischka from Berlin on a pair of Yamaha 650 Tenere's. All great people.

Our time in Valparaiso was busy. Getting the Rooney through Customs took a full day. Without Enzo, it probably would have taken a week. Stewart in Melbourne, as usual, has done a brilliant job. Errol's bike crate has died, this was its last trip.

Valparaiso is a city of 300,000 perched on hills and cliffs that reminded me of Anzac Cove in Gallipoli. In Valparaiso they like to see the air they breath. There is an absence of public toilets, for both man and dog. The place stinks of piss and there is dog shit all over the joint. I mentioned they needed a couple of days rain to wash it away. Martina said they needed 100 years of rain to do it. They only have 331 mms of rain per year.

The people are lovely and friendly, as are the many, many stray dogs. In fact, Chile has the friendliest stray dogs I have met. We found some good bars. Got very drunk one night with some Chilean Navy guys. They had all served on 'Esmeralda', Chile’s magnificent 4 masted sailing ship. Great blokes, great night. Lousy head the next day.

Valparaiso has a network of funicular railways. Unfortunately, the drivers, and the garbage collectors, were on strike. One night we could not find a restaurant open. We had rum & coke and dry bread & chips for dinner. Next day we discovered the cities water supply had failed, so all restaurants had to close. We don't speak Spanish, so no one could tell us.

Would I go to to Valparaiso again? Not if I could avoid it. Did we have a good time? Hell yes. Why? Good people and good food equals great times. What else do you need. Enzo, Martina & their kids are fantastic.

Lindsay & Dale's bikes took an unexpected holiday in Korea, so will not be ready to be picked up until 4^th November. We hired a car to tour Southern Chile for two weeks.

Our car is a Chinese made Dongfeng S30, only 3 weeks and 3,000kms old. One thousand and six hundred cubic centimetres of rippling power, with very little torque. Twin air bags, ABS, the largest boot I have ever seen in a small car and a really nice gear change. Reasonably economical as well. Not much else going for it. Poorly built and I don't think she will live to an old age. I don't think we would either if we pranged her. The suspension is already stuffed. Lawrie and Graham had a Dongfeng winch engine many years ago. I don't think the quality has improved. She was not built them to take what we have planned for her.

We take turns in driving, day about. The front passenger's job is to make sure the driver is on the correct side of the road. We have all spent time on the left. Some more than others! It is hard to judge how close to go to the right hand side kerb. Lindsay did the best, he drove for about 50 metres, with the bloody wheels on the right side footpath scattering women and children. And, he tells me, he is the most qualified driving person in Australia. God help the rest of us.

The Chilean road network is fantastic. Very little traffic either. Many, many times a day we comment on how good the roads and tracks would be on a Bike. The Chileans are good drivers.

Yesterday we had our first argument, could not agree on what day of the week it was. We had to consult our hotel Manager. He was not sure either. I think this means we are relaxed and in holiday mode.

At first we could see snow capped mountains to our left. The terrain is steep. Around Valparaiso and Santiago there is little vegetation. Nearly desert. As we drive further south there seems to be more vegetation every kilometre. We have driven through beautiful Aussie Eucalyptus Globulus and Radiata Pine forests. I think there are probably more Eucalyptus trees here than in Australia. The gravel roads are mostly in very good condition. In some areas we could be in Australia.

Our hotels have all been good, a couple fantastic. Everyone is friendly and helpful. The people and the dogs in Chile are probably the happiest and friendliest I have encountered. Last night we slept about 5 metres from the beach, the view from my bed was stunning. Today, things are not so good, we are probably 10 metres away from the sand.  

We are having a day off in Valdivera, went on a brewery tour this afternoon. At Kunstmann Brewery (yes, that is their name) they use the same no chemical method of brewing as is used in Germany. We had to try a few of their magnificent brews. Just woke up after a long siesta. I think we are Kunstmann addicts now.

Today we caught a ferry and ended up in Northern Patagonia. Fcuk me !! This place is amazingly beautiful. Magnificent waterways and snow covered mountain peaks all around. Dale gave our Dongfang S30 a real workout over a 100 or so kilometres of gravel road. Although more expensive than we had planned for, Chile is definitely worth it. And no tourists.

Lindsay said “it is like being in Noosa, but without all those p----s from Victoria.” I have family in Victoria. I like Victorians. Fcuk him.

The last couple of days have been on gravel roads, driving through incredible forests, past fantastic mountains. We have been on three vehicular ferries, the largest 74 metres, which steamed for 3 1/2 hours through fjords over 450 metres deep, the other two about 35 metres. The two smaller ones had Schottel propulsion systems.

Lindsay was driving the 60kms from the last ferry to Chaiten, he thought he was in the Australian Safari. The poor new Dongfang S30 did know what had hit her.

The Chaiten Volcano erupted in 2008, covering the town on volcanic ash. It is now mostly a ghost town, very sad to see. The abandoned buildings all have about 1 metre of mud (from the ash) in them. Peoples lives, just buried, left where they were in 2008. The river changed course and cut a swath through the town.

The butcher had two calenders his wall. One dated 25^th October 2013, the other still on 2^nd May 2008. He still sold a good steak though, cut straight from the carcass while we watched.

Today was my turn to drive the Dongfeng. We went about 100kms south to Puerto Cardenas at the head of Lake Yelcho, with a couple of long side trips up tracks to look at glaciers and other stuff. The boys are now arguing over which volcanoes we actually saw today. Fcuk me, who poured the Bourbon. And I don't like Bourbon.

They have finally agreed our favourite volcano is Corcovado. A beautiful, majestic, classically traditional volcano. Dale went to University. So he is able to tell us she has been glacially eroded.

Our 3^rd favourite volcano is Michinmahuido, she is a glaciated stratovolcano, lives about 15kms from here.

We swam in 38 degree thermal springs, fed from Michinmahuido Volcano. How good was that? It was so good we went back the next day.

Back to town, down to a beach, that did not exist before May 2008, we shelled peanuts and drank Escudo beer out of 1 litre bottles, while we walked the beach. We could see our three favourite volcanoes, including Chaiten, which continued to spew hot gases into the atmosphere. I have never slept at a place less than 10kms from an active volcano. The Chilean Government are building a new town 10kms north of here, as they don't know when old Chaiten is going to blow again.

Dale says Lindsay and I are old, and he is not, yet.

Dale cooked a great steak dinner. Michelle would be proud.

Was this a great day? Fcuk me, yes!!

Our time in the Chilean Patagonia has ended. The area was stunningly fantastic. I would like to come back here again. It is bloody amazing! Any takers?

We caught a ferry over to Quellin on Isle Grand De Chiloe yesterday. The views of the snow covered mountains on the 4 hour trip over would bring a tear to your eyes. I haven't seen anything like it before.

Our 80 metre ferry was berthing stern first (a Mediterranean moor) and nearly backed over a smaller vessel which was in its berth. Our lines were being run. The smaller boat ran over one of our vessel's mooring lines. What a shit fight. I got some of it on video. Doesn't happen at CQ.

This area happens to be the Pacific Salmon farming Capital of the world. Previously, the best fish I had eaten was a very large Salmon, cooked by the Intrepids, over a campfire, in the Russian Far East. Most nights we eat magnificently cooked Salmon, at a very reasonable price, in nice little waterside restaurants. Frequently followed by a bottle or two of excellent Chilean red. Last night was no exception.

We are heading back up to Valpariaso for Sunday. Hopefully the boys pick up their bikes on Monday.

Isle Grand De Chiloe is quite mundane after the countryside we have been driving through. Roadworks and traffic, looks a little like Russia at times. Tonight we are. in the capital, Castro a nice enough town although I think we have been spoilt.

I had hoped to lose weight on this trip. Unfortunately, driving in the Dongfeng S30 is not conducive to this. Today we had 4 meals. Breakfast. Beer with our large meat n veg soup at lunch. A large bucket of coffee and a slice of the best, richest chocolate and caramel cake ever, for afternoon tea, and the best Salmon meal yet for dinner. With a bottle or so of red. Bring on the bikes and some more exercise.

Today we got our ambitions mixed up with our capabilities. Again. Unfortunately, that's a regular occurrence with me. The local volcano at Lake Llanquihue is the Osorno Volcano. Dale, our navigator supremo, discovered we could drive a fair way up. We decided we would drive, then walk as far up towards the crater as possible. We think we are Volcanologists now. Out of the Dongfeng S30 it was about 3-5 degrees. Luckily I have my BMW Rally Pro 3 riding jacket with me. As well as being about the best riding jacket, it makes a great trekking jacket. We set off at a brisk pace. It was bloody cold. The wind was strong enough to blow a dog off it's chain. It started to rain. We trekked upwards. It started to sleet. Onwards and upwards, over the first ridge. The rain & sleet got heavier. Great weather to push on to the next ridge. The wind picked up. Lindsay estimated it at 40 knots. A little conservative, I think. The temperature dropped, Dale's estimation was well below zero, minus the wind chill factor. We thought we were going to be blown off the bloody volcano. We had a quick little conference and decided we were coffee shop soft cocks, not volcanologists and better head down. The sleet stung our faces, our hands were frozen. My BMW jacket kept me warm and dry. Thank fcuk. It was a shitty coffee, but hot. Dale wants to go back tomorrow and try again. Fcuk that for a joke.

Australia has Meat Pies, Chile has Empanades. They are a little like a Pastie, only better. Healthier than a Aussie Dog's eye as well. They are pastry, rolled over and filled with mince meat, onion, an egg and spices. Just to break your teeth, they usually have an Olive thrown in as well, complete with the pip. The best ones are made by little old ladies at road side stalls. I love them. And the little old ladies who make them. They are all happy. Today we had Empanades De Salmon. They are the grouse. There is nothing better. We had three each. And then desert.

Our hotels have been excellent, although a little more expensive than we had planned. Except one, it was only OK. All have had free Wi.Fi. I will never pay for Wi Fi in a hotel again. Ever. I will try never to stay in one without it.

One night we had a fantastic Cabernet Sauvignon with our Salmon, BBQ'd if I remember. Only $30.So good we had 2 bottles. A few evenings later we had the same fantastic bloody wine for $12. How good was that. Tonight we had it with our evening Salmon for $10. How good was that. We decided to buy a bottle to take back to our Cabana, Lindsay wanted to buy it at a bottle shop. We argued. He won. How much? Just under $4.00. For the same fcuking Cab Sav! We are still on a steep learning curve. Now we are paying $3.50 for 1 litre! Not to bad either.

Back in Valpariaso again. It is all happening at Martina and Enzo's place, all except the boys bikes being ready to pick up. That should happen on Wednesday. Anyway, this place is fun. Our mate Ian is staying here, learning Spanish, while waiting a few weeks for Kitty.(his R100GSPD) She also had taken a holiday in Korea. Hans from Germany is staying while his broken collarbone mends. Max is cleaning and polishing his DR650 (complete with the full list of Vince Strang options), after 9 months in South America, before she is shipped home to Avalon.

The Chilean people are beautiful. I can't explain it, except to say they all have personality, and it rubs off on their stray dogs. Lindsay and Dale are excellent to travel with, both very positive and great fun. Dale is similar to Adam in a lot of ways, they can both read a map better than I, or almost anyone. Lindsay is, well he is Lindsay. One of a kind. He takes Austro/ Chilean relations to a new level!

We have become fond of our Donfeng S30. Although I am not thinking of swapping the Commodore for one, she is OK. I wouldn't like to be the poor person who buys ours when the rental company has finished with her. I hope they don't notice the shiny gravel blasted under sides, or the belted in door sill. These things happen when rally driving in Patagonia.

And after nearly 3 weeks, the Garbos are still on strike in Valpariaso. And the joint stank when we got here.

Take care,

Chris.
xx

A quiet, dog shit paved street in Valparaiso.

The view from my bed.

                                                                  Fresh Empanades

                                                                  Our Dongfeng S30

Corcovado Volcano, our favourite.

 Does it get any better?

Chaiten town, soon to be abandoned.

The beach did not exist before 2nd May 2008.

And it turned into a European Road & Race Tour.

Total distance: 24,746.6kms
Total riding hours: 365 hours,or 9 working weeks
Max speed: 150kph. (on the 'Ring)



Riding through the English countryside is immensely more fun when the sun is shinning. The ride from Heysham to “East Barnby Backpackers” was great, even if my GPS had snuffed it. The bike mount for my Garmin Zumo wasn't charging, making it bloody hard to navigate. My GPS has had a lot of use, I still think the mount should last longer than 2 years. And I wanted to use it to navigate me to Germany the next day. I rang every Garmin dealer within 150 miles of the “Backpackers”, even rang Garmin's head office in the U.K. Three days seemed to be the quickest anyone could get me one. Not nearly good enough. No one seemed very interested either.

So, I only know 2 Irish bikers. A strange thing happened, I was on the ferry from Hull to Rotterdam and someone called out my name. Bugger me, it was Dave Bowes, riding to Italy with his/my mate Sean and a few others. Bloody good blokes, for Harley riders. Neva, Ron and I had met the boys in Moscow last trip, shared a meal and more than a couple of beers. I ended up in the bar at their Hotel and camped the night in Dave’s room. Conquered the Moscow subway the next day and found my way back to our Hotel.

It is 360kms from Rotterdam to Stefan's home in Lohrne, Germany. It rained every metre of the trip. Olaf had arranged for a tour of the Herforder brewery. What a night. It was an extremely interesting tour, the brewery used to employ 700, they still bottle 80,000/hour, but with only 120 staff. If you are ever going to taste a good beer, it would have to be in the Brewery's own bar. We had a couple before the tour and they really laid it on afterwards. Gallons and gallons of sensational Herforder beer, some even came in 3 litre glasses. Yes 3 bloody litres!! Enough food on the smorgasbord to feed everyone in Bangladesh for a week, our tour guide, a darling of a woman with whom I had fallen in love, even got me up to dance. The last time I had danced, Jesus Christ was still playing fullback for Jerusalem. Stefan's brother, Jorge, picked us up to drive us home, not knowing when enough is enough, we dropped into their local bar for a white beer or two. The barman gave us some 75% rum to try. We left the car at the bar and walked home in the rain. Our breakfast with Olaf didn't happen until noon and we finally left for Matthais' lake house in Berlin at 4pm





My panniers and top box have been in some heavy rain and never leaked. Until this day. It was like a 320km trip through a cyclone, or under a fire hose. My visor fogged up, so I rode with it up. Everything I owned leaked. We had to do 120-130kph or else we would have been run over. The trucks do over 100 and there are thousands of them, you can imagine the spray. Cars in the fast lane are still doing 160-180. Bloody terrifying. Very nearly the worst conditions I have ridden in. Matty was following our progress on the Spot Tracker, so had the garage open, BBQ burning and a beer open when we rode in. What an Intrepid!

The Berlin Touratech agent unbolted a Garmin Zumo mount from a showroom display for me. Great service, at $124 it was bloody expensive. We did the Checkpoint Charlie thing, walked for hours, looked into castles and a caught a ferry. Matty cooked a few good BBQ's, Tom “from the Box” became our tour guide and took us back to his home for a meal. It was a little weird being able walk around areas of Berlin that wasn't possible last time I was in town.



Stefan and Matty took 2 weeks off work and we rode west through Germany and the Czech Republic. Although it rained most days, the roads were fantastic with little traffic. Seldom have I laughed until I cried so many times in a week. We ate many terrific schnitzels and drank gallons of beautiful German beer and stayed in lovely, but cheap hotels. Ended up in Giboldehausen with 400 or so others for the biggest MRT (adventure bikers rally) in Europe. I could not believe the number of Honda Africa Twins, Stefan counted 69! Being Germany there were plenty of BMW's. A surprising number of airheads. A lot of people took photos of the Rooney's frame and exhaust. Met Katherina, a lovely young girl who had ridden overland from Germany to Nepal via India, then through South East Asia, on a Suzuki 350. On her own! How good is she??


Kim and Kat rode over from the UK, Tom down from Berlin and Anton from Hannover. Jens was the only one missing. I met Matty's mate Stefen, another good bloke. Matty ordained Tom,Yens and Stefen “Intrepids.” Typical bike rally, only better. Trade shows, talks, good food and beer and a ripper of a band. It was a long time since we had all been together. You can imagine how the bullshit flowed. We drank Chingis Vodka, I had carried from Mongolia and“Black Dog Rum”, Stefan and Matty had carried from Mona Vale.

Sadly, we had to split and only Matty and I headed for France via Luxembourg, riding through magnificent country on magnificent roads. Surprisingly, in sunshine. Matty had planned we finish the days ride at the Nuburgring. We had to do a lap. After the Isle of Man TT Course, this is probably the most famous race circuit in the world, 20.8kms long. It was chaos, several Porsche GT3's in full race trim, a Bugatti, many high performance BMW and Ferrari's, every type of high performance bike on the market. Plus Matty's Yamaha Tenere 600 and my Rooney. Both with our panniers on and with our camping gear strapped to the back! All on the track together. Fantastic, but scary. When we finished, I was walking on air.





Metz is famous for the Peugeot & Renault factories as well as the Michelin warehouse of Jens “from the box”. I nearly forgot, they have a stunning Cathedral as well. We stayed with Jens and his mate Simon, drank beer and told lies till late. Matty and I walked for kilometres, drank coffee and ate cake. Just like any bloody tourist! Jens and his girl Hui Qin cooked dinner one night and made us a typical French breakfast, not bad for a Kraut! It was great. I was sad to leave Matty and Jens, the last of the Intrepids.

It was a 900km day from Metz to Whitby and “The East Barnby Backpackers”, via the tunnel under the English Channel. That was impressive. A shower and a change of clothes, into Stockers race van
and off to Snetterton to watch the boys race. Both Dave and Stockers came home with a few trophies and a cheque each. What a weekend.

And that all happened bloody months ago. As I attempt to update this I am sitting under a Palm tree, sipping on a rum and trying not to day dream and spend all day looking out to sea. Lolita's Bungalows on Koh Samui (an island in the Gulf of Siam), Thailand is so good I have been coming here for about 20 years. A great way to finish this trip. Hell, I miss the East Barnby Backpackers!!
Well, Here goes, all abbreviated and rushed. Went to stay with Toc and Sue, caught up with Debbie and Louise. They took me to Billy Shakespeare’s house at Stratford Upon Avon and to the Sammie Miller Motorcycle Museum at Bournmouth. Bloody fantastic. Saw Sammie riding an old Moto Guzzi around the carpark, after the Birmingham Motorcycle Museum, this is probably the best in the world. Back to Stockers and he and I went across to Holland to the Dutch TT races where he, Dave and my new best mate Frank, were racing. Amazing. Our other new best mates, Dirk and Villie turned up too. Frank hates BMW's, but is still a good bloke, we can't all be perfect! Saw my first electric bikes race and rode an electric bike for the first time. This was the final round of the year, good thing was a BMW airhead won the title. They asked me about racing at Phillip Island as well. I must be the Island Classic's European agent!!



Frank is the Amsterdam Honda Guru, apparently, a genius mechanic, with a workshop you where could eat you dinner off the floor, I lusted after his library. He has a collection of 10 Hondas. A night at Frank and Ria's house and off to Villie's Squat. Now, that was incredible. I can't describe it, Bootlace will understand what I mean. The night ended, after a beautiful meal, with Villie and I up to about 2.30am, drinking Aussie red, with the lights turned off, just like a couple of old poofs. Nothing sexual, the view was stunning at night without any lights. Ships, tugs, barges and hydrofoils all sail right past Villie's door. Bootlace had ridden Charlie's bike there and we loaded it into Stockers race van to drop off at East Barnby Back Packers.






I managed to catch up with all my Pommie mates, except Eddie. Couldn't spend as much time with the Tarts and Dave Hartlepool as I would have liked. Toc n Sue came up for a few days. We played tourist, with me the guide. Maybe this area is my second home now. I took a liking for Bitters. That's warm, flat, dark English beer. Looks like cats piss, tastes beautiful. Old Peculiar is my favourite. I think, perhaps, a lot of Aussie beers are very bland.

The weather was shitty, so I took Stockers spare car down to Grimsby to see Intrepid Kim and Kit for the weekend. Kit is a special girl. Has to be I suppose, to put up with Kimbo. Watched as a Pilot brought a car carrier into Grimsby harbour. The best ship handling I have ever seen. When we travelled together, I seem to remember Scotty cooked and Kim cleaned. What a fcuking waste! Kim is a gourmet cook and Scotty is a fcukwit! He thinks I am a racist and a dinosaur. That hurt. Fcuk me, I love everyone.

The time lines seem a little blurred. I don't know if it is the Heineken, time or old age. Maybe all three! Stockers, Dave, Frank and their entourage went to Cadwell for the last race of the year. What a circuit. TV doesn't do it justice. Bootlace turned up on his Triumph, Owen and Lynn came down as did Bev and Rob, Dave and Kim and Bill and Mick. A bottle of OP Bundy and a carton of Coopers Green appeared, all was set for a great weekend. Caught up with Roger and Cindy, maybe they are coming to the Hall soon as well. The boys all got trophy’s, including Frank, on his first visit to Cadwell. Intrepid Kim and his mate Keith turned up on Sunday. What a weekend!

An interesting thing happened on our way home. Bootlace,I know what happens on camp, stays on camp. But some stories need to be told. We stopped for fuel and a sambo. Afterwards Bootlace's Triumph was running like a hairy goat and blowing smoke like you wouldn't believe. Wouldn't pull the skin off a rice pudding. Why? He had filled the fcuker up with diesel!!! I was surprised it ran at all.

I showed Bootlace around Whitby for a couple of days and then dropped him at the station. He had to get home to be a Flaggy at Phillip Island for the Moto GP. Coopers of Sunderland, the local BMW dealer gave me three crates for the bikes and sold me three sets of BMW Rallye Pro 3 riding gear, each $900 cheaper than I could get them in Australia. Steve from Spares and Tony from Service are gentlemen, good ambassadors for their Company. Stockers and I crated Adam's, Charlie's and my bikes, Stockers borrowed a trailer and I took them up to Newcastle for shipping.

I had wanted to ride down and show my frame to Roger Bennett, the UK's master BMW airhead engine and gearbox builder, but it was raining and I had washed the bike for Australian Quarantine inspection. Roger wouldn't understand an Aussie's dislike of riding in the rain. He doesn't have a car. Only a couple of BMW airheads with sides, one car for his “works van” and another beautiful one for the “family car”. Roger and his wife ride down to their house in Spain on their outfit a few times a year, he commutes every day, all year, and they do long weekend rides to go racing and bush walking. He doesn't believe in windscreens or heated grips. Tough man, I think. Builds a beautiful gearbox as well.

Jacquie and Sylvia and their mates went to a Vampire ball. We went for a boys weekend to Doncaster and the Stafford Motorcycle swap meet. Bloody hell! I have never seen a show like it. Bikes I had only dreamt about. I didn't know they made so many Suzuki Waterbottles! Stockers and Dave ordered trick lightweight frames and suspensions for their race bikes. The frames are a work of art. And they thought they could keep it a secret! Dave gave us a tour of the local locks. His grandfather was a lock keeper and his father a bridge keeper, both professions of a bygone era.

My mate Steve Shaw took me down the Potash mine. What can I say!!A safety induction, PPE (boots and gators, overalls and underwear, gloves, helmet, glasses, ear plugs, head lamp and an emergency breathing kit). I forgot to ask him why I had to wear fluorescent underwear. All dressed up like a pox doctors clerk. Down 1.1kms in a lift and then into a Land Rover, we drove 8.5kms under the sea to a couple of the mining faces. Steve had to download data from gauges that are mounted in the tunnel roof to check for any movement. There are around 300 men working underground at any time and they have 90 vehicles to move around in. Talk about “big boys toys”. On the surface my other mate, Chris Scott took me on a tour of the gear that hauls all the product up to the surface. Astounding

My last evening in Whitby was a bit special. We went for dinner to Pete, Dot and Ashleigh Coney's house. Their house is Captain James Cooks old house. I've been to the Croney's home a few times now, and still find it almost surreal to be in Jimmy Cooks lounge room. Sitting down to a magnificent banquet there almost blew me away.

Well, it's almost over. Train to London, tube to Kat's penthouse. Good food, good wine and good company and after not enough sleep I was on a Gulf Air flight to Bangkok. A couple of days and I will be home. That is good.

Kim and I talked about what is the best part of a trip like this. We both agreed it is the people you meet. Many have asked me how much a trip like this costs. Over the next couple of weeks I will do a budget and post it on the Blog. You can't take it with you, remember, shrouds don't have pockets!

Fcuk, I wish I was still in the Gobi with Adam!!! At least I didn't break anything this time!

Chris.
October 26, 2010.