Russia.
Total distance: 4756km
Max speed: 124kph,
Average speed: 70.1kph
Riding time: 67.5 hrs

Beijing Airport!Fcuk me! What an amazing place. The most incredible modern building I have seen. Anywhere in the world. Natalie had found us a fantastic local run dive of a hotel in a back street, only $13 and 5 mins walk from Tiananmen Square. Sat on the step, drank a beer and chewed the fat with the locals. Lunch. $3 for plate of food big enough to choke a Camel. Included a longneck of beer! We walked for miles and miles, fired off about a million photos. Took a tour to visit a jade factory, a ceramic factory, a silk factory, some old guy’s tomb, had a magnificent lunch and walked the "Great Wall" for two hours. Cost? About $12. To finish the day off we had a free medical and a foot massage. I think the Tibetan Doctor was only a Taxi Driver dressed as a Doctor. He told us we would be lucky to see the week out unless we bought his expensive Tibetan Herbal potions. Ron bought a handful. Amazingly, we are all still alive. The train system was modern, clean and efficient, the taxis pretty good and the locals lovely. We had a massage and bolted for the airport. I could spend a week here, and will probably come back.
Two hours transit in Korea, a flight with Vladivostok Air (great airline),Mark flew in on the same plane. Ron's mate Paul met us at the airport and took us to the MIx Mix Hostel in Vladivostok. Our Shipping Agent, Yuri met us on Monday morning and in 3 days we were ready to ride out of town. Yuri said this was the quickest Customs clearance ever. The last bunch of Aussies took 2 weeks. They should have used Yuri. Without him, we would still be there. Stewart Garmey, our Shipping Agent in Australia had done a brilliant job as well. Jason and Val were “couch surfing” somewhere in town. They only surfaced for air when we had business to do.
Adam, Mark and I had moved into "The Box" at the Iron Tigers Motorcycle Club. This is in a loft above their clubhouse, which is above a bike shop. Twenty months to the day since I had last stayed there.They are incredible blokes, once again gave us a key to the shop so we could come and go as we liked. Free Wi Fi as well. We stored all 8 bikes at The Box. Yuris' mate, Misha, took us to a bike Museum. Saw a BMW none us had ever even heard about before. A days sightseeing and several gigantic meals , a visit to a Bikers Cafe and we left. Mikhail took us to have the best Chinese meal I have ever had. As before, sad to leave Mikhail, Max and their boys behind.


First day we rode 220kms north to Arsen'ev to a bikers rally. Good roads and about 50km of gravel. Fun. Been there 10 minutes and a bloke came up and asked me if I had been in Khabarovsk in 2008. Seems we had shared a beer last time. Great rally site, a big level paddock on the bank of a nice clean river, good bands, good food and plenty to drink and about 2-300 bikes. And plenty of mossies. Once again we could not walk the length of the camp without sharing many glasses of Vodka. Some as good as I remember, some as bad as I remember. All strong enough to blow your socks off. The boys tell me we had the biggest electrical storm ever. How would I know. I slept through it. Whitey had been adopted by a Russian family, they fed and watered hifor jeans or riding gear, most people didn't have any shorts so they walked around in their underwear. Guys and girls. The sight of many, many scantily clad Russian girls in brief, lacy bras was not to calming for a group of old Aussie has beens. I had told the boys how attractive the local girls were, now they believed me. Russian girls are as good looking as Aussie girls. And they are the best in the world! I had intended to have a quite night on Saturday. No bloody way. Olga was very attractive, rode a Honda 400 and dragged me around the camp to meet all her friends and look at their bikes. We ended up at Roman's camp and drank a bottle of Cognac with them. Roman is an Iron Tiger as well.
In bed at 4am and up at 7.30. Felt a little shady. Sveta was another stunner, rode a Honda 400 as well. A few girls from Vladivostok drove up to see Jas and Val, so we didn't get away until 1030.am and he looked like death warmed over in the morning. To sick to have a beer until about 6pm. Saturday was very hot, probably over 30 degrees. We bathed and swam, ate, drank and talked bikes. It was to hot

Ten hours and 630 km to Khabarovsk. We played with a bear cub on the side of the road. A bit like a naughty puppy, only bigger and with claws. Marina and the "Doc" met us at the edge of town. Ron, Dave and Whitey went their own way. It was fun to spend time with them. They travel at "Campey Speed" and were off to Magadan. Marina is one of life’s beauties, a stunner in looks and personality, she looked after The Intrepids when we were last in town. She rides a Honda 400 (is there a pattern emerging here?) and is the local Bikers Moderator, looks after any adventure motorcyclists riding through town.Doc is a genius mechanic who had helped me before. Marina arranged for us to stay in the “Shaman" Motorcycle Club's cottage, a little two story farmhouse style joint on about half an acre of land. And plenty of mossies. Once again we were given the keys. Panas, the Shaman’s Road Captain, took us under his wing and escorted us on a tour around the city, took us to a Banyan (public bathhouse) and paid for it, Marina and the Doc turned up, as did the local TV station. Some famous Russian journalist interviewed us. Attracted a crowd as well. Don’t know if it was us or her. Some lovely buildings in Khabarvosk. We finished off our tour with Marina driving us at warp speed to a Bikers nightclub. The Government recently introduced a zero blood alcohol limit. The Russian Bikers don’t drink and ride anymore, an amazing change in behaviour!
Panas escorted us out of town, force fed us a gigantic breakfast and arranged for a welder to repair a cracked pannier rack where Jason’s bike had fallen off its centre stand. The road was OK, some gravel and only one little patch that I did not like. Couldn’t find a campsite, had to ride until 10pm, Still daylight though, eventually camped beside a lake, beautiful spot, could have done with a few more mossies though.

Slava, the “Blagbikers” treasurer, met us on the outskirts of Blagoveshchensk, escorted us to their clubhouse. What a fcuking joint. What a fcuking setup. A banyan across the road, a 24 yacca out on the footpath, bikers dropping in for a beer or a soft drink all night. And plenty of mossies. Slava said he would let our tires down unless we stayed at least 2 nights, who could argue with logic like that. He remembered the Intrepids, said they drank for 3 days solid when they were here. We tried the beer the locals drink, $3.90 for a 2.5 litre PET bottle. And at room temp! Fcuk me! Never again. Our new best mates Sasha and Mishuk took us on a tour of the town in Sasha’s Toyota Prius. We could see a Chinese city across the river, very weird. Slava doubled me down to a restaurant on the back of his Suzuki Boulevard. An 1800cc cruiser with 260 back tire and a 150 front. It went like cat shot in the arse. Took me back to Murmansk! We did another television interview. Went to the beach on the bank of the Amur River, a bit weird going to a proper beach when the closest coast is over 1,000kms away. The Russian girls. Fcuk me!!!
After yet another Television interview (3 now) we sadly left Blagoveshchensk. I cannot believe how much roadwork has been done in the last 2 years. There is less than 200kms of gravel now. By next year you could ride from Vladivostok to London on black top. Incredible, as 6 years ago there was not a road at all. You had to take the train. This road has to rate as one of the major construction efforts of all times! A local Biker told us we had been on all the local Television News programs. No wonder everyone waved and took photos. Must have been all the bullshit we spun the Jurno’s!

Another wild camp and then off the highway towards my mate Max’s place at Tynda, about 160km of gravel road. This is what we had come to ride. Tynda has a Wild West frontier like town atmosphere. Last winter it got down to minus 56 degrees. I cannot even comprehend that. I like Tynda. Max is one of life’s gentlemen, we stayed in his grandparents place, Nikoli and Nina. It is a highlight of any trip being accepted into a local’s home. Babushka (Russian for grandmother) adopted us like we were her own grandchildren, she is one of the happiest, most cheerful people I have ever met. I loved her! Babushka cooked us magnificent meals and fussed over us, all 5 of us. Max took us to a flash restraint, and paid. Val’s bike and the Rooney had some welding done in Max’s workshop, we went to a bar with Lena and fell into bed well after midnight again. Val, Jas and Max decided to ride to Lake Baikel via the Old Bam track. Adam, Mark and I thought we had better not get our ambitions mixed up with our capabilities and will headed off the conventional way. We will catch them up down the track. Mark telephoned Ron and they have aborted their Magadan leg, so instead of being 3 days behind them, we will now be one day ahead. We will probably all catch up in Ulaan Bataar. That will be a party.

A few days uneventful ride, some sensational scenery, a couple of hours riding through the gravel, which quickly turned to mud in the heavy rain, very slippery. Only one dropkick did not put his wet weather gear on. Me. Fcuking wet and cold! Some more great campsites. Have I mentioned the mossies yet? We had to break the legs off to fit 6 in a sugar bag! The march flys! I caught 4 trying to fly away with the Rooney. Bastards.On the way we met Sveta, a pretty young kid on a Honda Magnum 250, riding solo from Khabarovsk to St Petersburg. About 20,000km round trip. Our first night in Siberia, as opposed to Far East Russia, we wake up and the tents are frozen! Talk about bloody cold. Rode for a while with 4 Korean Bikers on new BMW’s. Three F800s and a 1200GS Adventure. Talk about excess bling. Good blokes though.
So far we have only paid for accommodation 2 nights, had 11 nights free and camped the rest. We stayed 2 nights at Gremyachinsk on Lake Baikel. Holds 20 percent of the worlds fresh water, over 600kms long. Big camp fires at night.No one else for miles. Was that good or what.
Crossed in to Mongolia and caught up with Ron, Dave and Whitey at Ulaan Baatar. No sign of Val, Jason or Max. Whitey thinks they are only bear shit by now! Mark is leaving us tomorrow. He has been the best to ride with and is off on a mission, riding around the world to raise money for The Bonnie Babes, to purchase a humidicrib. His web is: www.ride4alife.org Turning up at the Oasis Guest House is a little bit like coming home. Sounds bloody corny, I know! There are 15 bikes here tonight and a few backpackers. Bring it On!

>

Sunday, May 23, 2010

packing the bikes

here is a photo of us packing the bike bikes and drinking beers



Looks busy doesn't it?

Where the fcuk is Bomaderry?? No 13 (The last)

Distance from Stockers: 25,018 kms
Distance form home: 57,568 kms
Top speed: 164 kph (Russia)



" Hoping to ride it till the wheels fall off & burn, & the sun peels the paint & the seat cover fades"
Bob Dylan, via Paul Rooney.


A wet road. A slippery concrete gutter. Max speed 2kph. Down like a brick and tile glider. An ambulance to hospital, a few fractured and dislocated bones in my foot. It helps when you are travelling with a Paramedic. A two hour operation, nine days in a Japanese prison (hospital) $7,500 later and a business class air ticket home, what lessons have I learnt. Probably none! Fcuk me!!! What a bastard!!!! Thank Christ for my travel insurance. Crutches for 6 weeks and off the bike for 3 fcuking months. What a bastard. That's the end of this little trip. I suppose it was a good thing I did not do it in Mongolia or Eastern Russia.

The boys from "Hovel 8" came to see me a couple of times before they all headed to Vietnam via Bangkok, Kim went as well. See them in Sydney next year, Anton in 2 years. The hospital and staff were great. My favourite was Chi, 24 years old and 38 kilos wringing wet. And she was on a diet! Took 8 of them to lift me on to my bed the first day! Fcuk it, I had to come home 4 months early.

Half my family met me at the airport in Sydney. Why, were they worried about about me? Don't they know I am the man they couldn't root, shoot or electrocute? And were the fcuk is Bombaderry? About 140 or so kms south of Sydney, my little sister and brother-in-law live there, (just down the road from Dave Grey), they are trying to kill me with kindness. Tanyia has lent me a car. A bit sad when your niece has a spare car that is better than your own was! How good is that!! Sydney is nice this time of year, but then I hear, so is Vancouver.


On the first day, God created the Heavens, the Earth, and the Oxley Highway. But He wasn't happy. His Kingswood would sway through the corners, crawl up the hills and use heaps of juice.

On the second day, God created the Honda step-through. He enjoyed the wind in His hair (He hadn't created helmets then), and it was fun to ride and used bugger all fuel, but it still crawled up the hills.

So on the third day, God created the Honda Four, and it flew up the hills. With four-into-ones, it sounded okay, it never broke down, but the corners remained a problem. Yet he had tasted power, and craved for more.

Thus on the fourth day, He added two more cylinders and so created adrenalin. His insurance premium doubled and it cost a fortune to service. He also created fear (His hair turned white) and the cliche "Enough is enough".

On the fifth day, God blew a couple of joints with Willie G and created the Harley-Davidson. He'd cruise the hills in top gear and pick up heaps of babes. He got off on the note. But it was too heavy, broke down a lot and handled like the Kingswood.

Then on the sixth day, He made the Bonneville. It still attracted the girls and it sounded good, too. This bike was light and for the first time, corners were fun. It handled! God was stoked. But the vibration pained His arse, it wanted for power and He ran out of petrol every 100 miles. He wasn't happy, but shit he was close.

So finally, on the seventh day, God produced a motorcycle with the speed of the Honda, the torque of the Harley and the handling of the Triumph. He could afford the fuel, tune it himself, pick up chicks and still blow off Ducatis through the corners.

He called his bike, "Rooney Special", and He was happy.


Does it get any better? I think, just a little.

Chris.
17th October 2008.

ps. One operation turned into two. Six weeks on crutches turned into four months. Three months off the bike turned into six months. Eight months off work, thank Christ for Sydney Ferries.

Who ever heardof Sakhlin Island? No 12

The Iron Tigers of Vladivostok. Max and Mikhael and the boys. Both Mikhael and Max are former Marine Engineers and Max even has green hair. How good are they. Mikhael grew up in Tynda and tells me he was only allowed to walk to school when the temperature was above minus 50 degrees!! My time with them has been fantastic. It is probably every Riders dream is to live in a bike shop. Been there, done that. A few days on the piss and telling lies with Neva, Ron, Yens and Tom. A couple of kilos of hard shell prawns. Many kilometres of walking around Vlad. Time to get outa here. I am off to Khabarovsk to meet Kim , Scotty and a couple of German guys,(Matthias, Honda Transalp, and Stefan, Honda Africa Twin, we had met them in Ulaan Bataar at the Oasis ) and ride to Japan with them. Neva and Ron's bikes are going to Sydney by ship, as soon as the arrangements are done they will fly home. Be home before the weekend. They had not been able to do The Road of Bones either. Rivers still to high, to fast and to cold. They rode the newer road, the Kolmya Highway. 3,000 km in 5 days, good going.

 My bloody alternator spat the dummy again on the way to Khabarovsk, stopped at Luchegorsk to charge the battery. Left an hour later, battery charged and my belly full. Typical Russian hospitality, tea, biscuits and presents. No charge. Unbelievable. I had arranged to meet Den at the fruit shop we had shared a watermellon at two weeks before. I arrived early, the fruitshop man remembered me. I feasted on peachs, grapes and oranges, left with a watermellon, all no charge!! Met the boys and all the local Bikers in Khabarovsk. Fantastic blokes and girls again. Marina, Dens, Mrs Dens and The 'Doc', all great. My alternator was re-wound and now charges like there is no tomorrow. I only want the bloody thing to last another 3,000kms as I plan to update it in the U.S. I should have trusted my own judgement and had the bloody thing re-wound the first time I had trouble with it.
>
> The Poms and the Germans had rented an apartment in Khabarovsk. They have named it 'The Hovel' rent is 3,000Rb per week. About$AUD120. I have never, ever seen a stairwell so filthy. And fcuking stink!! The boys had to disinfect the floor before they could roll their sleeping mats out! The water in the shower is so hot it is unuseable.All the other tenants have their own toilet seat to use, we do not. The feel of cold porcelain on my arse in the morning does not do it for me! But, it is central and cheap and I have enjoyed my time there. This is a great city. Very cosmopolitian and clean. The local bikers meet every night at a beer tent by the river and drink and talk bikes until late, then ride, as a group, through the city at high speed.
>
> Vanino is about 600km from Khabarovsk, about 300km of dirt. Not like that shitty old road from Chitta, mostly a good surface, magnificient mountains, rivers great corners, some 20 or 30 kph sections, several river crossings and many, many, rickety old timber bridges. We camped by a beautiful lake. Some ducks flew overhead, we heard shots, ducks plumeted to the ground. A car load of hunters came along, gave us 2 ducks, still warm and the biggest salmon I have ever seen. We swam in the lake, cooked 1' thick salmon steaks on the fire and drank vodka. I couldn't eat any more.The best fish I have ever tasted!!!! In Australia when we camp we do not have to take the fish guts and things several hundred metres from camp so the bears don't smell them and raid the camp. We are lucky.I was washing my socks in the lake, wearing my boxer shorts, when the mossies came to town. Fcuk me. I had at least 30 bites on each leg. On my face , in my hair, every bloody where. Never, ever seen mossies this thick. Bastards! We couldn't break camp until 11 am, the heaviest dew in history. We were still wearing our mossie nets at 10.30 in the morning. I had to have a crap. The biggest of bites, right on my arse! Talk about itch. One of the boys got a bite on the family jewels! Met yet another Russian Biker, met his mother as well, she gave us all the fruit we could eat and carry. Once again we could not pay.
>
> We picked up another rider, Anton, a Czech on a BMW R1150GS Adventure. A top young bloke, speaks 6 languages includeing Russian and Japanese. Eventually made it to Vanino. This is travelling at a great pace.　We talk a lot, laugh a lot and take time to smell the roses. Six totally different blokes, we all get on well. Life is good!! A ferry to Sakhlin Island, the oldest, slowest (15kph), dirtiest vessel ever built. The Captain and crew should have been ashamed of themselves. It took 6 hours to buy the tickets, 3 different offices and we each had to sign our name 21 fcuking times! Only for an inter island ferry trip, not to leave the country! They put goods train waggons and trucks on the boat. And 6 bikes. The crossing was 20 hours and we had an 8 berth cabin, down in the bloody bilges. It stank and was covered in grafity. We called it 'Hovel 2'. A fcuking mess. The weather was great and the beer was cold. Not all bad.
>
> A bloke on Sakhlin Island took us to the best campsite of my trip. A fast flowing river, heaps of salmon, and no mossies. The track in was muddy, I dumped it in a bloody mud hole on the way out, caught on video as well! Rode some magnificient tracks, many mud holes and many, many river crossings, eventually found one that stopped us. To deep, to fast and the rocks were to big. And damned near freezing as well. We all got our boots wet when Kim's bike cut out in a deep patch on one crossing.Turned back and rode into Korsakov on the black. Yuri, found us and took us home. We drank vodka, ate salmon eggs by the kilo, and all sorts of other things his wife, Olga, served us.Took our minds off the dead body we had found. All slept on his lounge room floor. In bed at 1am, up at 6am to catch the ferry to Japan. Yuri escorted us out of town. Russian bikers are the best. On Sakhalin we were treated like minor celebs again.
>
> As far as we can make out, there has been less than 40 people who have ridden right across Russia, through Vanino to Sakhlin Island. Four years ago the road did not exist past Chitta, everone had to go by train, as did Charlie Boorman and Ewan McGregor, who we found out had two 4 wheel drives and two Kamaz all wheel drive trucks when they did The Road of Bones. Thats what happens with a $7,000,000 budget for a 3 month trip.
>
> The biggest surprise about Russia has been how bloody fantastic the people are. They are incredible. My first night in Russia a Biker (Misha) looks after me, treats me like I am his brother, my last night in Russia another Biker (Yuri) looks after me and treats me like I am his brother. Any Russian Biker, anytime is welcome in my house. I am sad at leaving Russia and will be back.
>
> This section of the trip has been hard. between the 6 of us we have fallen off 43 times and have lost a total of 48 kilos. We all have different bikes, and all think ours is the best oneto do the trip on. We are all correct. Some people are to parenoid about their choice of bike, their tyres and the weight. You could do it on a Honda Postie or a Fireblade if you took plenty of time. If I had my time again I would still use the Rooney and Mitas EO7 tyres.
>
> The Ferry to Japan is a shock. Modern, clean, on time and fast (30kph) I love Japan. I did not think I would like it as much as I do. We rode over on the Ferry with Takaoki, a Japanes biker on a 1200GS, silver, my favourite colour as well. He had been riding the tracks on Sakhalin Island. A former RWT. Takaoki helped us through the Customs and Immigration and found us a place to stay, a Bikers Rest and only $6/night. Staying for 3 nights.How good is that. $5 for a bottle of red, and not to foul either. I went for a haircut and beard trim. Wouldn't let me pay. Down to the Onsan (bath house) every day. Brilliant. The Japanese girls also ride pushbikes a lot. It is good for their backsides as well.
>
> Stefan and Mattheaus rode away. Then there were 4. We left to tour Hokkaido. Could not beleive the brilliant scenary. Rodes are a motorcyclist's dream. The Japanese, as have the Norweigans, perfected the constant radius corner. Little traffic and almost no traffic Police. The Rooney loves the hills and corners. Met Kim, a lovely British girl, in Saporro, she took us to a bar and got us drunk, met her Japanese friend Ayumi, lovely kids. What a night. Scottie went his own way. Then there were 3. Anton. Kim and I rode some great roads. We wild camped, went to Onsans most days and drank gallons of the $5 French and Italian red wine. We judge the success of an evening by the number of bottles of red we have consumed, 3 being a normal night and 7 being a belter! The Japanese have to be the best drivers in the world. This is Bikeing at its best. Three blokes, no hidden agendas and magnificient roads. One mountain pass was so good we rode it 3 times! Wild camped by a lake, sitting in a pool on the edge of the lake, up to our necks in hot artesian water, no one for miles. That night was a '7'.
>
> Another Ferry to Honshu. The Japanese Moto GP is on. We want to go but he roads are to good, to many fantastic temples, to many great camp sites. Fcuking stunning!!! Fcuk the Moto GP. Casey didn't win any way. We only ride one motorway, expensive and dull. We all rated one mountain pass and that nights campsite as equal to any thing, any where in the world. The red is not so cheap or good quality on Honshu, so we are back to Russian Vodka. Life is a bitch. Eventually make it to Tokyo.
>
> I like Tokyo. We are in Chiba, about 40 kms from the city centre. And 2 more makes 5, we are sharing a $100/night Hotel room with Stefan and Matthias while we arrange for Kim and I to ship ourselves and bikes to Vancouver, the Krauts to Bangkok and Anton also to Bangkok after another month in Japan. We all sleep on the floor, Japanese style. The room is so crowded one has to sleep in the hallway. Wouldn't have it any other way. I am sorry to be leaving Japan. Eventually able to pick up a new Amex card, after 7 or so weeks without any cards. Still no fcuking Visa card though. Bastards. I think you all might get to meet the Big Pom and the 2 Krauts in Aus next year. Yes, I will be sending them around the country for free beds and food. Things are a bit slow today as last night was a 9.5. The way I feel today, we don't have much to look forward to with Californian red wine. What happened to Alaska, Japan was to good to leave, it will wait for another trip.Scottie seems to have dropped of the face of the planet.
>
> I think this is as good as it gets.
>
> Chris.
> 4th October 2008.

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Goodbye Siberia. The "Road of Bones" not this bloody time!!!! No. 11

Russia III

Distance from UK: 18,898 km
Distance from home: 51,417 km
Moving average: 69.6 kph
Max speed: 125 kph
Moving time: 66.41 hrs





Sadly, sadly sadly, left UB and the two Poms (Kim & Scott) behind. They are going to Vladivostok. Hopefully we will meet up in Central America. No problems with the 360km ride to the Russian border, about 5 or 6 hours at the border and we were in Russia again. Another magnificent campsite and onto Ulaan Ude. Fuel, food and money,not fcuking likely. Somehow I had lost my credit cards, or they had been stolen. Probably operator error. Phone calls to Tanyia, Bronwyn and anyone else in my family who was home on a Saturday afternoon. All cancelled. No problems as I have enough cash to carry on with.

Lake Baikal. Holds 20 percent of the worlds unfrozen fresh water, 623km long and over 1,600 meters deep. Incredible. Bought some vegies from a roadside stall, they gave us heaps and would only let us pay for a little. Camped in a forest by the lake, 27 km's of dirt, Neva's turn to dump it. Swam and bathed. Fantastic. Neva cooked an excellent meal. About to go to bed (early), when a Russian family, camped nearby, insisted we come over for a vodka. We left hours later after vodka, more fantastic food, and with Russian SAS caps and tee-shirts. Was that good or what. This joint was beautiful.

Passed through Ulaan Ude again, headed off towards Magadan. We are on the way. Not for long. The Rooney decides she does not want to charge the battery anymore. Back to Ulaan Ude. An expensive hotel. Do you know they have the largest sculpture in the world, of Lenin's head. Ron and I pull the alternator (after a couple of call to Paul Rooney), he finds a broken wire, repaired for about $8 and we are ready to go again. This repair lasts about 200km. Not charging again. We were out in the booneys, 400km from Chita, rode in on the battery. Found a bike mechanic, he did a brilliant job. The mechanic and his apprentice went away on their bike to borrow a smaller soldering iron. Back in 10 minutes they said. Walked in after 2 hours. Had been arrested by the Police for not having a numberplate. Their bike impounded. Can't see why. A lot of vehicles don't have them. Fixed the Rooney like new. He worked in the most shitty, mess of a workshop known to man. Not even electric light. Back to the Hotel about 11pm, in to bed without a feed. Left for Tynda the next morning. No problems, the Rooney charged like the light brigade.

There are abandoned buildings everywhere in Russia, left over from the Soviet era. We camped beside one. Fcuking mossies. We sat dinking our Vodka wearing Mossie nets. Looked like real drop kicks. Ron's mobile rings. We are miles from anywhere. They have good coverage all over Russia, indeed all over the third world. I can't get signal at Fort Denison, in the middle of Australia's biggest city. Why?? Four years ago the road east of Chita did not exist. You had to travel this section by train. In parts the road is good. At least 50 percent is shitty, gravel or sand. The road base they use is as big as a half house brick. The road always seems to be badly, sadly overdue to be graded, the wheel ruts are deep enough to loose a Honda step thru in, the mounds between high enough to give me a nose bleed, or they have just been graded, which is possibly worse. You can't tell what is underneath at all then. This is an evil, shitty, shitty fcuking heap of a road. To make things more interesting, about 1,000 new, or second hand passenger cars (and trucks) from Japan are delivered along this road most days. This is the quickest way to get the vehicles to the west of Russia. These blokes are paid by the job and the bastards drive them like they have stolen them. The vehicles have the front panels taped up with gaffer tape, sticking plaster, bubble wrap, anything that will keep the stone chips away. Some even tow another car on a very, very crude "A" frame. So you can buy a new Corolla in Western Russia that has only delivery Km's on it. They don't tell you it probably towed another Corolla or Camry over 3,000 kms of the worst road you can imagine! And jesus, you should see the dust!

Rode into Tynda, did some shopping and headed out without time for a breath. Found a magnificient lunch spot about 26 km from town. Our best lunch stop yet. A crystal clear flowing river, skinny dipping and bathing, did the washing and had a fantastic lunch. Fresh bread, salami, cheese, tomato and cucumber. I should have known this was to good to last. About to leave and I noticed the biggest break you could ever imagine in my frame. On the upright, just below the shocky mount. What a fcuker!! Back to Tynda, found a welder, ripped it apart. The rear subframe had broken as well and another crack had appeared in the frame. Welded up in no time. They would not take any money. Welded Neva's tank support as well. I did not have enough confidence in the repair to carry on towards Magadan, told the others to go on and I would head to Vladivostok. What a bastard!! We met Max, a local Biker and the local Kamaz truck dealer. Sells 60 new trucks a year, $44,000 for a new cab over bogie drive, rigid chassis, 280hp , 10.5 litre V8 and Euro 3 specs. Built like a brick shithouse. (all for Lowie and Lawrie) Max seems to have a network of people all over Tynda who report to him the minute any Adventure Tourers (or extreme tourists as we are called over here) arrive in town. He is not a fan of BMW frames as he has seen 3 broken and has never seen a Japanese frame even cracked. Max found us a hotel, let us park in his workshop and looked after us like we were kings. Next day poor old Neva could not move more than 10 paces from the throne. Ron and I went to Max's workshop. My front disc had the rattles, so we pulled it off and Max's main man welded, machined and whatever to make it like new. I am envious of someone with those skills. I am annoyed at the frame stuffing up. I have given it a hard time though. Thrown it away about 15 times in the last 4 years. God only knows what had happened to her before she came to live with me.

Sunday morning we parted, them for Magadan and me for bloody Vladivostok. I got about 250 km, out in the middle of no where, at a nothing of a place called Magdagachi, on my own, and the bloody frame brakes again. My motto has always been "bite off more than you can chew, then chew like all fcuk". Right now I was chewing like there was no tomorrow. I had to ride about 140 km at 30 kph to a place called Shimanovsk. Stayed in a dump of a Guestena and met the locals. They gave me beer, made feel welcome, showed me a carpark full of new Japanese cars that had rolled when the delivery drivers had fallen asleep, and in the morning they welded the bike, properly. I think the new repair will hold to hell and back.I was on that shitty old road by 10.30 the next morning. The carnage has to be seen to be believed. Trucks rolled over, some had there fuel tanks fall off, broken down vehicles every where. The number of punctures, amaxing. I put in a couple of big days, two nights wild camping. (the first on my own for the trip, actually the first ever) Camped in a field, out of sight of the road, fantastic sunset, reading my book and wearing the bloody mossy net. After dark I could hear and see the distant lights of the Trans Siberia Express off to my left and hear the new Toyotas getting their guts flogged out to my right. Do things get any better? Only if you are in the market for a Toyota!

At the outskirts of Khabarovosk I was pulled over by 2 local bikers, Den Taxist and his mate Greg. No english, so they rang their clubs moderator, Marina, she asked if I wanted somewhere to stay for a few days. No thanks have to keep going. (money is low) We swapped e-mail addreses and the boys guided me the 40 minutes to the other side of the city. We shared the biggest, sweetest and juiciest water mellon ever grown and I was on my way. They gave me phone numbers of Bikers in towns along the way in case I needed any help. Russian Bikers, no one else like them, anywhere!!

Into Vladivostok before lunch on Wednesday. Money was short. Found a Hotel and paid for 5 days. Nearly all my money gone. Rang American Express. No problem sir, your new card will be couried to your Hotel, arrives Monday. Pity, I can't get money out with my Amex card unless they have an office in town. The nearest one is Moscow. Rang Visa. What a fcuk up of a company. Many expensive calls to Visa in Australia. They have a toll free number. No good when you are in a country that does not have operator connected calls. Rang Louise and Sharon at the ever helpful Manly Warringah Credit Union. It turns out Visa will not (security risks) send me a new card to Russia. Sharon tells me to go to a Bank that takes Visa card and get an emergency cash advance. I try 8 banks. No fcuking way. Eventually I met Olga, 20 years old and a bank teller. She rates about 14/10 on the beauty scale and about 18/10 on the personality and intelligence scale! Olga makes calls to Moscow and some other Russian cities I have not heard of. No way buddy. She suggests Western Union. I go to the Australian Consulate. Vladimir, the boss there said go with Western Union. Sends me to their agent in the Aussie Government car. (Vladimir tells me an Aussie motorcyclist, Arthur Edwards, flew home to Adelaide last friday, with a broken leg, he threw it away in the gravel on the same section of road I have been bitching about. His bike is still at the Aussie Consulate) No problems, on the phone to Tanyia and Bronwyn and I have money the next day. Thank christ for family. Western Union, good service. Now I have money to buy food and beer and a bottle of Jacobs Creek Cab Sav. I have only been eating the free breaky at the Hotel and drinking water. It does us good to be broke for a short while. As long as it is only a fcuking short while!! No beer or Vodka for a few days probably did me good. I visited the Marina I can see from my room. The 3 best boats are all from Australia, a Rivieria 48, a Maritimo 60 and some flash 15m cat, also from Queensland. We are not doing to bad. I wait to many days at the frlash Hotel for my Amex card. I ring Australia a few times. They tell me to ring Moscow as the card will come from there. Moscow tells me it has to come from Australia. They tell me it will take 10 days. I politely tell them to fcuk off. What about the adds we all see on TV. They don't count if you are an"Extreme tourist"

As I ride the Rooney around Russain cities a funny thing happens. The noise or vibration from the bike sets off the occassional car alarm. In Vladivostok it happens an incredible amount of the time. Where ever I ride I leave behind a cacaphony of alarms. Am I gentle on the throttle so this does not happen? Not fcuking likely. My good mates Jens and Tom (from Germany) have arrived in town. I have moved to the Iron Tigers Motorcylcle Club with them . We are sleeping on the floor amongst many motorcycles and bike parts, drinking beer and vodka and eating salami, cheese, gherkins and onoins. Tellling many lies. And laughing. How good is that. It is like being young again and living with a bunch of Mates. Reminds me of The Kangaroo Edward Inn. There are about 100 bikes in this joint, many thousands of Roubles of parts, but they have given us a key and we come and go as we like.

Neva and Ron flew in tonight and early next week I will ride the 750km back up to Khabarovsk (and the local Bikers) and meet up with Kim and Scotty. We will probably ride to Vanino nd catch a ferry to Kholmsk on Sachalin Island and then ferry it to Wakkanai in Japan. Jens and Tom are taking the Trans Siberian back to Moscow.

No, it does not gat any better.

Chris.
28.08.08

Mongolia. The last motorcycle frontier???? No 10.

> Distance from Home:46512km
> Number of 'offs': About 12 or 13
> Mongolia max speed: 116 (on the dirt!)
> Mongolia moving average:45.3kph
> Mongolia moving time:46.5hrs
>
>
> The bike festival. Great. We were called to the stage on Saturday night, for a change we were modest and hid in the bar. Two german bikers (Africa Twin and BMW F650) turned up. Ron was up drinking vodka with them until 1.30am. His latest night drinking for 30 years! He surfaced on time in the morning, no sign of Tom and his mate though. We had been adopted by an extended Russian family. Three generations. They gave us food and presents and of course we drank vodka with them. Nicoli, the patriarch, was ex army, been to Chernobyl 3 times and was dying of cancer. They had a stretcher by the camp fire, so he missed out on none of the action. He walked up to our campsite and even came down to listen to the band. Our time for being minor celebrities was over, said goodbye to our 'family' and hit the road. What a weekend!!
>
> We rode for w few hundred km through the Altai Mountains, this is a big holiday camping destination for the Russians, people camped every where. Crossed our highest pass on this section of the trip, 2660 metres. Another fantastic camp and into Mongolia in the morning. We crossed the border atTsagaanuur, took about 7 hours, we were lucky, people had been camped there for two days as the border was closed on Sunday. I picked up a young English hitch hiker. You cannot cross the border on foot, so he needed a lift, it is about 20km to the Mongolian border. there was a group of 24 Dutch in 4x4's on a rally to Bejing, via the Gobi Desert to watch the Eclipse. their leader had given the Russian immigration people the shits, so we were let through in front of them. Saved us a few hours. They do not have roads in Mongolia. Only tracks. They do not have signs either. To make navigation harder, the silly bastards can have several towns in the same area with the same name. almost no one speaks English. The food is crap as well. So is this fcuking key board' And fcuking hot and dusty!!! The scenary is stunning and the people are sensational. (sorry Stockers) I love Mongolia and will come back. We dropped Ian (the backpacker) off at the first dusty little town. He wanted to buy a horse and ride across the joint!. Within 200 meters we were lost. Who cares. We didn't! Another magnificient campsite. Cooked a meal, drank vodka and told lies. Rab was right, it is bloody cold here at night. Next day we got lost big time. Had to return to our start point after 3 or so hours. A guy sold us a meal and some beer and gave us more directions. Made it clear we shouldn't go to the coal mine. No problems. Camped beside a river. Great. Kim dumped it big time in the morning, his first of three for the day. Decided to fit nobblies to the Pom's bikes on the side of the road. Four tyres changed in a little over 2 hours. Not bad. Some how we ended up at the coal mine. Another wrong turn. Westerners seldom go there, particularly those on bikes. After all it is a prohibeted area. The local kids were great. Someone gave us directions, over a 2,556 meter pass. It had rained, the track was muddy, there was snow on the ground. the track almost didn't exist I dumped it. I had fitted a new throttle cable in the UK. As a precaution. The bastard broke a couple of km later. Time to camp anyway. Another stunning campsite. Another stunning area to ride through. We stopped at a Bhuddist Chorten to take photos. A Mongolian family stopped to pray. Forced us to drink a bottle of vodka with them, before breakfast! A nomadic herder came up and gave us a big pile of cheese. Had to force him to take money. What sort of animal did the cheese and milk come from we don't know. I think it was horse. Bloody good old horse anyway. Vodka, cheese and biscuits for breakfast. Is there another way? Ron had never been pissed before 9am before. Rode down a good dirt track, cruised at 85kph. On to our first patch of sealed road for days. Found I was only doing 75kph. Went for a bath/swim in a cool, clean river. Neva's turn to dump it.
>
> We passed through Olgiy, Kovd, Ulaangom (Mongolia,s 2nd largest city),Tosonchengel, Kharkhorin and on to Ulaan Baatar. Took us 8 days to reach UB. Great tracks, shitty tracks and fcuking awefull tracks. Several passes over 2,55 metres. Heards of sheep, horses, goats, cows and camels. Mongolian horsemen everwhere. Magnificient. No tracks sometimes so we rode across country. Through rivers and creeks where there were not any proper crossings. The Rooney performed brilliantly. A good hard clay track. A sprinkling of sand. I was leading. Locked the front brake. Down like a bag of shit. Half hour to bend the handle bars back, tighten up the brake unions, use a rock to straighten the bark busters, etc, etc. Windscreen and headlight protectors gone. Cracked anither rocker cover. This screen was a prick of a thing anyway! Back on the track. Five or so km later. I am leading. Deep sand. Down like a brick and tile glider. Only thing hurt was my confidence. Belted a little bank as I hurtled out of control through the sand. Little bank has a big rock. Split my lovely panniers. Fcuking bastard. Cost me $US100 to have welded in UB. Fcuking burgler. Same day. Up out of a creek bed. No track. Off again. Some days we should all spend in bed!
>
> Made UB. 2.5 million in the country. Nearly 1 million in UB. A big, shitty, dusty city. In these countries the man- holes in the roads are cast iron. Cast iron is worth a lot of money. People in Russia, Kazhkstan and Mongolia steal them. Makes for exciting riding. We don,t ride at night. A days maintamance in UB. We had tyres air freighted from the UK. Fitted them, oil change, panniers welded, washing done. Ready for the road tomorrow. We have been staying at the Oasis Guest House. An apt name. Fantastic food. Cold beer. Very clean, helpful owners. Neva and I were interviewed for TV today. Bloody media groupies. Last night there was 28 motorcycles at teh Oasis, tonight more, plus a couple of pushies and the odd backpacker. Riders going in all directions. Fcuking great.
>
> What more can I say. It definately does not get any better than this.
>
> Chris.
> xx

From Russia, with love. Or the where the fcukarewe tour. No 9.

Russia 1.
Top Speed:137kph
Moving average: 72.3kph
Moving time: 52.54hours

Kazakhstan.
Top speed:128kph
Moving average:78.4kph
Moving time: 42.39hours

Distance from home: 43,817kms.

Norway's roads were a motorcyclists paradise. Beautifully smooth surfaces, magnificent grip in the dry and still plenty in the wet.(Did I mention it sometimes rained there?) Unlike the Greeks, who don't know what a constant radius corner is, the Norwegians have perfected them. The scenery was sensational. Speed limits of 80 and 90kph were rigidly enforced. Still plenty of fun. Finland's roads had a 100kph limit, long straights and nice flowing sweepers. The smooth surfaces were very wide.

We crossed into Russia at a little used border crossing that was not even on the map. Nor was the road to Murmansk! Fcuk me. The Russian roads didn't even have a surface on them! We could not believe it! They seem to be, as in India, in a state on constant work in progress. The lumps of blue metal were the biggest I have ever seen. If I had fallen off it would have hurt. After a while the road improved to become only bloody terrible. We met a Russian Motorcyclist, returning from Finland in his car. It turns out Mikhail Kraplya is a former Ship Master. now CEO of a Murmansk based shipping company and is the head honcho of the Murmansk Riders MC. A top bloke too. He escorted us the two hour ride into Murmansk, a good thing as it turned out as the road we had chosen was not even on the map and the GPS Euro map finished at the border. The road improved immeasurably to become only dammed lousy. Michael found us a hotel, sent us for showers and said to ring him when we were ready and we would go for a meal. Neva suggested we go somewhere close by. No problems.

We rang, Michael said he was 5 minutes away, told us to wait out the front. Ten or twenty bikes turned up. They passed around helmets, Gloria was lucky and got to travel in a sports car, Ron was on a cruiser, Neva on ZZR and I was on Michaels FJR1300. Fcuk me. They all took off like cats shot in the arse!!! We were doing 160kph through the city, lane splitting, the lot. I was scared the front was going to go into orbit when he took off from the lights. Neva's knees were up around her pilots ears. A girl, Lada, rides a Yamaha 600 and mixed it with the best of them. My knees were knocking like an old Russian single cylinder diesel and Neva's olive complexion had turned white. The harder she punched her rider in the back the faster he went. Ron just kept shaking his head and scratching his balls. More bikes turned up, well over 20 all together. After a top feed and a few beers we caught a taxi back. Next day Lada took us for a tour of the city and the surrounds. She drives her car a little like she rides her bike! She and her partner, Igor, are fantastic. We went to their clubhouse to change a tyre for Ron. What a setup. It was a long day. I found a bar and was drinking with my new best mate Kosta until 4am. Neva woke me at 7.30, and we had a long ride ahead. No sympathy either! A bit weird leaving a bar at 4am and it is still daylight.

We spent a couple of days riding down to St Petersburg. At first the roads were incredibly bad, but gradually improved to range from excellent to a little shitty. We were only stopped by the cops once, it would have been easier for him to tell us what we were doing right than go through the long list of things we were doing wrong. A laugh, an apology, a shake of the hands and we were on our way without a fine or a bribe. Even the highway patrol are friendly in Russia. They have a big problem in this part of the world. The roads are built on perma frost and fall apart every summer. The maintenance costs must be horrific. Finland and Norway seem to have their act together in regards to road building, Russia has a long way to go. We left the Artic Circle, not having seen darkness for about two weeks. We shared a meal with another Master, Alex, he introduced us to drinking Vodka, Russian style. Straight out of a shot glass, maybe an apple juice or a little water as a chaser if it is a particularly rough Vodka. We have all adopted this Vodka drinking technique with gusto.

St Petesburg is a marvellous city. The buildings are stunning. It even gets dark for a while at night.They really loved Neva and have named everthing after her. The city is built on the Neva River, there is a Neva Bridge, a Neva Hotel, a Neva Road, a Niva car, even the bloody toilet paper brand is called Neva! A lot of good lines there and I wasn't game to use any. I think Australian women are the most beautiful in the world. Russian girls come a very close second. Russian girls subscribe to the theory of "If you've got it, flaunt it" I like this theory. The girls in Murmansk seem to have invented this theory and definately mastered it. The scenary was amazing!!

Further south from St Petersburg to Novgarod, Charlie had recommended it and what a city, has its own Kremlin, probably better then Moscow's. Next a few days in Moscow, also incredible, Red Square, The Kremlin, Lennin's Tomb, the lot. Teamed up with three Irish Harley riding boys, Dave, Sean and Frank. To many beers, to much food and to many laughs. I did not make it back to our hotel until midday the next day, shared Daves room. Great blokes, even if they rode Harley's!! Unfortunately Gloria's time with us was over, she flew to her and Ron's daughters in Hong Kong for R&R on the way home. Gloria was excellent to travel with. St Petersburg and Moscow are like any other big western city, many shops and a good variety of bike and car shops. There is plenty of money in Russia.

South east from Moscow to Kazakhstan via Samara and we are in the Steppes. Rabi told me the Steppes are in Mongolia. They start in south east russia. We spent about a week riding through Kazakhstan entering at Oral. The Steppes are vast, some parts reminding me on the Nullabor or Hay Plains. Ron recons if they ever get their act together they could flood the world with wheat.In a joint called Aqtobe we met a couple of British bikers, Scott Mitchell and Kim Moss on Yamaha XT600's. In spite of them being on Yamaha's, and being Poms, they are really, really top blokes and good fun. Are on the road for two years, hopefully we will ride together for a while. The Kazakhstani people surprised me by their openness and friendlyness, much like the Pakistani and Iranians. The Russians are a little reserved at first, their initial shyness gives way to them being very warm and open. Kazakhastan, like Russia, suffers from bad press. Both countries are a lot more advanced and with a better standard of living than I had thought. Although far from the city they are a both primitive. We see very few motorcycles, most we do see are Japanese, next to no Russian cycles.We got lost one day, ended up many hundreds of kms out of our way on extremely shitty roads ar tracks. Fantastic days ride though. Neva and Kim up ended their bikes in the mud. My mud riding experience has increased by 400%, still fcuk all though.Qostanay, Arqalyo, Esil and Astana (the newly built capital) Had the most fantastic pizza in Astana. Next day we had 13 shits and 8 showers/baths between us. Pavlodar, then to the border with Russia at Semey. The border formalities took 4 hours to get in to Kaxakhstan and 4.5 hours to get out. No hassles, just go with the flow. Finally, we are into Siberia.

We have adopted a bit of a routine, awake at 6am, on the road by 7.30, a meal around midday, find a river for a swim/bath in the late afternoon, buy a bottle of vodka and look for a campsite about 6 or 7 pm. All wild camping. Just find a field or forest out of view of the road. All beautiful in their own right. If there is some where to buy a meal we do, otherwise we cook up a storm. Fantastic.

Met 4 Aussies on bikes coming the other way, 3 DR650's and a KLR. The Kate MacMuun Gang. They had ridden from Vladivistoc, Neva was rapt to see another Aussie girl on a bike. She wanted her photo taken, I don't think she wanted to leave her. Something wrong with Ron, Scott, Kim and my company? Our first large Russian city this time around was Barnaul, we took a day off to give the bikes a bit of TLC. The hotel was great, did our laundry, ate good food, drank good beer and good vodka. The girls in Barnaul have the same philosphy as those in Murmansk. The locals very friendly and helpful. I liked it there.

We had been told of a Motorcycle Festival near a joint called Gorno Altaisk, about 250km from Barnaul on our route through the Altai Mountains to Mongolia. We would call it a bike rally. About 600 Russian motorcyclists camping in a magnificient forrest, beside a magnificient river. A brilliant band, events we don't see, like motorcycle engine throwing (5.5 mtres!!) Good food and beer. Vodka, bloody vodka. We cannot walk the lenght of the campsite without drinking many, many shots of vodka. Most lovely and smooth, some like cats piss. A lot of Russian made Ural motorcycles, heaps of Jawa and HHH 2 strokes, but mostly Japanese bikes of every description, like any rally at home. Only two other BMW's, both F650's, a GSPD and a Scarver. We are treated like minor celebrities. This is an exceptionaly beautiful area.

Tomorrow we head towards the border, Monday into Mongolia. I have been thinking. It definately does not get any better than this!!!

Take care,
Chris.
xxx